Life, 1913-09-04 · page 24 of 40
Life — September 4, 1913 — page 24: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct sections: **"To Whom it May Concern"** warns readers against subscription scams—fraudsters posing as Life magazine agents who collect payment but never deliver papers, sometimes offering fake premiums like life insurance. Life disclaims responsibility, noting their legitimate channels (direct mail, established agencies, booksellers) and advising readers to report fraud to local authorities. **"We Are More Gentle Than We Look"** is satirical commentary on American naval power. The piece ironically claims the U.S. Navy isn't threatening despite its size, then undercuts this by noting that warships become obsolete within years—suggesting rapid, continuous military expansion. The tone mocks both American military buildup and nervous foreign governments. **"English as She is Sung"** collects awkward, grammatically flawed song lyrics, likely from popular songs of the era. The humor derives from mangled English and sentimental clichés. The final cartoon illustration captioned "FRAILTY THY NAME IS WOMAN" (Shakespeare reference) shows a domestic scene, with the note "I'LL TAKE IT ALL BACK"—suggesting male capitulation in romantic disputes.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
lb Wits og To Whom it May Concern Occasionally Lire receives a complaint that money has been paid for a subscription to Lirr to some soliciting agent and that no copies of the paper have been received. Very frequently these swindlers offer premiums of various sorts, including even life insurance. Lire has no soliciting agents and fills subscriptions only for remittances received direct or through reputable and established subscription agencies, booksellers and newsdealers. By frequent publication Lire has endeavored to warn the public against these swindlers. People who do not take the ordinary precautions of knowing with whom they are dealing and of pay- ing no money to persons who cannot show the authority to receive it are bound to be victimized. In such cases Lire is not responsible; even if we could appre- hend the swindlers we would have no case against them as they have taken no money from us. The only persons who can prosecute them are those who have paid the money. The method of operating is such that it is always too late for us to apprise the local police before the swindlers have left the place where they operate. We deeply regret that anyone should lose money in any transaction in which Lire is supposed to figure, but in cases like this complaint must be made to the local authorities. We Are More Gentle Than We Look B E not afraid, all ye foreign powers, we are not going to hurt you. We are not nearly so belligerent or fierce as we look. Perhaps some of your representatives have written home to you about our naval displays. Pay no attention to such letters, This navy isn’t for fighting purposes. Leading naval experts tell us that it is nearly all obsolete. They actually make out a list of various crafts that are passé, and the original cost of these only a few years ago was $130,- A HAIR-RAISING Y, 000,000. But what do we care for a little item like that? We are building a lot of new ships, but that’s not a serious matter, either. They also will be obsolete almdst before we know it. Perhaps we shall soon perfect naval construc- tion to such an extent that a battleship will be obsolete as soon as it is finished. English as She is Sung “WHO are you with to-night, to- night? Oh, who are you with to-night?” “T love her but she don’t love me.” “When the Moon plays with Molly and 1." “It don’t matter who you love if it isn’t me.” “There isn't such a lot of things I'd rather do than eat.” “Won't you love me like I love you?” “When they drove Melindy Sue and 1 to church.” “Tf I was only sure of who you loved.” “Don't treat me like I was a sub- stitute.” “When you look at me so sweet and / P 7 loving.” ‘ Coeslin Ga “Lay still, little baby, lay still.” “FRAILTY THY NAME IS WOMAN” Ss. S. Shade of Shakespeare: VL TAKE IT ALL BACK. comicbooks.com