Life — August 28, 1913 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

His Lordship’s Beard A certain peer, who had a very long and very bushy beard, had dismissed. his valet for the night. Shortly afterward, however, he was much annoyed to hear peals of laughter from below, and called back the man to explain. The valet an- swered that it was just a little joke; but his lordship would have none of it, and demanded the details, angrily. “Well,” admitted the man, with re- luctance, “it was really a little game we were having, my lord.” “What game “Well, my lord, a kind of guessing game.” “Don't be a fool, Waters! I rang for you in order to get an explanation What guessing game were you playing? Guessing what?” “We blindfolded the cook, to tell the truth, my lord, and then one of us kissed her, and she had to guess who it was. The footman held the mop up and she kissed it, and then cried out: ‘Oh, your lordship! How dare you!'"—Tit-Bits. Wine Jelly when flavored with Abbott's Bitters ts more Cork Zips or Plain ——— stamps. C. W. Abbott & C OUR. FOOLISH A Happy Marriage CONTEMPORARIES | Perce rt Had Defendant's Goat Evidently ruth about self and se: tnd whee felstton to life A Springfield man, replying to his and health, This knowl wife's petition for divorce, says: “ De- 2 edge docs not come. in- : Rana =m LAE a telligently of itself, nor fendant states that the plaintiff is much correctly from ordinary, better qualified than the defendant to The Baby Not Like Other every-day sources. carry her part in nagging contests; that AN SEXOLOGY she commands a better and more ex- Visitors tensive vocabulary than the defendant, The perfect baby of a South Side by William H. Walling, A.M., MO nas in a clear and simply overwhelmed him with her mother has reached the age when he wholesome way in one complaints and reproaches, and she was can coo, an accomplishment in which K ia itave. so master of her feelings that she could he indulges himself most of the time se & Enter sf — readily pass from storm to sunshine, when not otherwise eng: ° from abuse to tears, from harsh lan- “He is the most welcome visitor I Yound Wire show sage to tenderness, and from nagging ever had, the mother, proudly. of c plaintiff could upon the appearance of “He just lics and talks to me by the ava, a third person so readily become all hour.” Al in g ue x sponte | smiles and suavity that her sudden and “Isn't that nice,” replied the caller. Puritan Pub. Co. 776 Perry Bldg., Phila. Pa. complete changes in moods completely “So unlike most visitors—they just talk bewildered defendant.” and lie to you by the hour.” es —Kansas City Star. —Kansos City Star. | mt Underground Garbage Receiver | aan pi eetae NO FLIES. NO LITTER. NO ODORS Comfort Without Extravagance, OREAT DEAT SU RING WATER: 1s with the foot: closes ftsell. Clean and sanitary, Sold direct Hotel Woodstock, New York: 5 f 6 gl | cory.” Gunraateed.” Cirewlir tree | 0 canta per case of 6 glass stoppered bottles | BE Cie smu, Mana, MARTELL’S BRANDIES ESTABLISHED 1715 One Star Vv. 0. “V. S. ©. P. Guaranteed over 25 years od Two Star Vv. S. O. E.. S.. 0. P. “ "40 “ Three Star EXTRA “ 50 Bottled in Cognac and guaranteed distilled from wine grown in the Charente G. S. NICHOLAS & CO., Sole Agents, 41 and 43 Beaver St., New York comicbooks.com