Life, 1913-08-28 · page 23 of 40
Life — August 28, 1913 — page 23: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a humorous narrative poem by Arthur Guiterman satirizing romantic melodrama and legal absurdities through exaggerated wordplay. The story follows Angeline, an orphan daughter of a mountain guide (killed by being mistaken for a deer), who loves the actual deer her father died protecting. A ranger proposes; she refuses, devoted to her "Dear." The jealous ranger shoots the deer but claims he mistook it for a *guide*—thus avoiding the legal penalty for killing a deer out of season (a "hundred dollar fine"). The maiden accepts his proposal. The satire targets: (1) overwrought romantic conventions ("Rival shall I tamely brook?"); (2) legal technicalities and how they can be exploited; (3) the absurdity of mistaking a deer for a human. The punchline—their wedding feast is venison—suggests dark irony: the beloved deer becomes dinner anyway. The illustration shows beach/vacation scenes, likely titled "Hard Times" to mock leisure contrasted with the melodrama.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
YT WAS August; all the Verdant vales With Marigolds were decked; The Groves were loud with Night- ingales— Or Birds to That Effect; And Squirrels frolicked High and Low While, from the Waters dim Ambitious Troutlets leaped, to show That they were in the Swim. (The Owl Doves, Too shy to bill and coo, “Now, don’t mind me, my Little Loves! Proceed: To wit, to woo.”) observed to Bashful Beneath the Spruce (Perchance beneath the Pine), A Maiden walked, a Fair Recluse, The lovely Angeline. Birch, beneath the The Daughter of a Mountain Guide, She dwelt beside the Mere. An Orphan since her Father died— Mistaken for a Deer. HARD TIMES An Adirondack Idyll So, honoring in Memorie Her Late Pro-gen-i-tor, She idolized the Deer that he Had been Mistaken For. The Pretty Pet she often fed With Caramels or Grass, And Much the Antlered Quadruped Esteemed the Forest Lass. To her upon the Woodland Way, With Pleadings Sweet and Strange A Ranger came—their Wedding Day He begged her to Arrange. But oh! the Scornful Maiden gave Her Answer Brief and Tart: “My Deer, whom Father died to save, Possesses all my Heart!” A Horrid Oath that Ranger took! (He swore beneath his Breath) : “A Rival shall I tamely brook? Morbleu! Carr-rramba! 'sdeath! “Her ‘Dear ’!—Gadzooks, I know the Man! That Lovelorn Guide shall die!” And home the Ranger stalked, to plan His Crime and Alibi. That Night he watched beside her Cot— The Bushes cracked and swayed— Out rang the Deadly Rifle Shot! Out rushed the Woeful Maid! “Ah, Wasteful Hunter!” Wails, “To slay this Deer of mine! All Out of Season, which entails A Hendred Dollar Fine!” rose her “Not so, not so, my Love, my Fair,” The Ranger straight replied, “For I (as Witnesses shall swear) Mistook him for a Guide! “And since I took him for a Guide, Now take me for your Dear!” The Maiden blushed, the Maiden sighed, ‘ The Maiden deigned to hear. And when upon the Pair the Priest Had said his Ben-i-son, 1 grieve to say, their Wedding Feast Was mainly Ven-i-son! Arthur Guiterman, comicbooks.com