Life, 1913-07-31 · page 31 of 36
Life — July 31, 1913 — page 31: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a humorous essay mocking American hot air and empty talk. The piece opens with whimsical definitions of wind types, then pivots to satire: wind is "employed extensively throughout this country in Banquet Halls, Women's Clubs and State Capitols" — a jab at verbose public speaking and political rhetoric as mere "hot air." The essay references Columbus's ships to mock America's obsession with past glories while ignoring present usefulness. The closing warning—that efforts to "raise" the wind will "reap a whirlwind"—appears to be social commentary on unintended consequences of American policies or attitudes. The page includes advertisements for a miniature edition of Life magazine and various products (Round the World travel service, bridge accessories, diet advice), typical of the era. A cartoon dialogue jokes about a woman's husband becoming a "Colonel" before moving to Washington—likely satirizing social climbing and political ambition.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
peincipal saison oo LirR The Wind IND is air in motion. Winds are all kinds except still. When the wind gets tired of doing things, it settles down and loses itself. Winds are divided into hurricanes, cyclones, gales, breezes, and zephyrs; but only the hurricanes and cyclones get their names in the papers, except in love stories. Every little zephyr feels very proud of itself when it is men- tioned in the latest best seller as toying with golden tresses. That is about all a zephyr does, however. 0 zephyr was ever known to perform any useful act The wind is sometimes used to make hot air, which is employed extensively throughout this country in Banquet Halls, Women’s Clubs and State Cap- itols, When the wind has lolled around for a few days and becomes rested, it starts up and blows the clouds about, just for exercise. It also makes people take off their hats. At one time the wind used to waft vessels across the ocean. It once wafted three of them belonging to a man named Columbus, and we haven't gotten over it yet. A wind like that is a permanent nuisance to society at large. Now, however, the wind does not waft as much as it used to; about the only wafting it does is to bring a few wicked seeds into your back yard in the early spring, which afterwards come up as weeds. Winds are used to fan cheeks, trans- port mosquitoes and keep windmills employed for artists to sketch. They also raise the dust for automobilists, but not in the way that automobilists like best. Winds come from the north, south, east and west, and all points of the olus main division between. There is a popular tradition among the American people that a long time ago the wind was very low, and for many years they have been trying to raise it. It is not improbable, owing to these efforts, that some day they will reap a whirlwind. This girl costs you nothing but a two-cent stamp Miniature L ife Number 2 Is now ready for mailing. The picture printed above is one of the covers of this Miniature Edition of LIFE, exact size—only it is printed in colors. It is a small edition of America’s great humorous weekly filled with jokes and pictures, and obtainable in no other manner except by personal application. Send us your name and address and a two-cent stamp to cover mailing and we will forward you a copy of this beautiful MINIATURE LIFE Number Two. “So you are going away, Mrs i, Se Se Rusher?” Service. That's been “Yes; we are going to move to Ken- Proven. | Delightful, “small tucky for a few weeks until my husband the tah Wenee hac’ aa gets to be called ‘Colonel,’ and then we Coane, Times Bldg shall go to Washington to live.” —Chicago Record THE ANSWER TO THIS REBUS WILL BE PUBLISHED IN NEXT WEEK'S LIFE tarred fe aeatlane therich American art collector_is an easy mark for People Brainy Diet * Tused toauffer agonies aftereating. Since taking digestibl: brainy foods I ean get through my work quickly.” Brainy food) (lean meats, green vegetables, fruits, ete.) when correctly com. bined and proportioned. are’ the best for sedentary workers Starchy foods (bread, kes, ete.) being difficult of dt | gestion, cause i1l-1oo! i take nocrer cise. Deficiency or exes different eases, Correct combin: comicbooks.com