Life — July 31, 1913 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Advice to the Fat! Sleep but little, never eat anything that's fat or sweet; Shun tobacco, alcohol; cat potatoes not at all. A Close Buyer = > Beans, rice pudding, pies abhor—never f pass your plate for more With your meals no water take—walk until your muscles ache. Exercise an awful lot, especially when A New York theatrical man -was ap- pointed receiver for a small opera house in an upstate town in New York. He was anxious to sell it and so was willing it’s’ very ‘hot. to take the first offer made. | é : Hungry always leave the table—cat as He advertised the place, and after an Tittlavas/you're: sble= waiting a week he was delighted* when ‘ ‘ i t , If you're really weak for food—anbut an inquirer came in. oe LS Pa tered toast is very good. “Say, mister,” the prospect asked, : Or, if that does not suffice—two or three “how much do you want for the thea- % 1 Hig caged dried prunes are nice. tre?” ff ee, oe Milk and cream you must taboo—sugar “My friend,” the receiver replied, “1 | hy! | . in your coffee, too, am extremely anxious to make a sale, } istoen sa and I'll let you have it for your own .| if aA f > po Romos | Try this plan two months or three—and price.” : I'll give my guarantee "Please, mister,” said the inquirer, ; The advice I give is true—and you'll "can't you do a little better than that?" . ‘ f lose an ounce or two. —Saturday Evening Post. : ; ening Sun. Perhaps That Helped te 1h Useless Miss Carter had not been successful a NE 7 “I heard that you were going to in bringing young Mr. Dodge to her feet, , a gite marry Archie Blueblood, Esther. Is it and in consequence felt a little spite- A x true?” asked one young society woman ful toward him. = : of another. One evening they were having quite - 4 “Marry him! I should say not! Why a serious talk in the library. \ SS I wouldn't know what to do with him “Do you think,” asked the young max, a a He can't ride, play tennis, golf or drive “that men progress after death?” | a motor car!” “Well,” responded the girl, “if they 1 . i. “ Well,” said the friend, “he can swim don’t it would almost scem useless for | u es . beautifully, you know.” some of them to die.” / ; = “You wouldn't want a husband that —Harper’s Magazine. i ' = beaty} | you had to keep in an aquarium, would you?"—Ladies’ Home Journal. “Gracious, Smith, old boy, how are you? I haven't seen you in ages. You 3 are altered, I should scarcely know you “Wy has your wife decided to give again 4M y up the European trip she was contem- a “Excuse me, sir, my name is not ii t US r plating ? Smith.” She happened to hear somebody say “Great Scott! Your name altered as that travel broadened one.” well? "Wasp. SPECULITIS—A CONTAGIOUS DISEASE —Chicago Record-Herald Lares pohtuded every, Thursday, simstuneouly tn the United Stes, Great Butaln, Cana and. Bri IPE {s for sale by afl newsdealers in Great Britain and may be obtained from booksellers in all the princins! Fouessions. $5.00 a yrar in advance. "Additional postage (o foreign countries in the Postal Union, $1.08 a cities of the work. The foreiga trade supplied {rom L-tPe'S London Uiice, Cannon House, Breams Botting. fo Canada, & cea.” ‘Single covrent copies, 10 cess. fuck numbers, after three months trom date of publication, London, F.C. B cents. "Issues prior to 1910 out of pei. Tae text and iinstrations in te. are copyrighted. For Reprint Rights tn Great Britain ophiy 00 V6 No contribution will be returned unless accompanied by stamped and addressed evcvelope. APR docs mot ‘HT Southampton Kew, fs Aeld tielf rerpomsiste for the fost oF mowreturn of untaiitted Contributions. Probe waticalins tabaed Ie tat WF AN BET wang thik aT evi, RITELLS BRANDIES ESTABLISHED 1715 One Star Vv. O. V. S. O. P. Guaranteed over 25 years old Two Star Vv. S. O. E. S. 0. P. “—« 40 “ Three Star EXTRA “ 50 Bottled in Cognac and guaranteed distilled from wine grown in the Charente G. S. NICHOLAS & CO., Sole Agents, 41 and 43 Beaver St., New York comicbooks.com