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Life, 1913-07-17 · page 5 of 44

Life — July 17, 1913 — page 5: what you’re looking at

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Life — July 17, 1913 — page 5: Life, 1913-07-17

What you’re looking at

This page is primarily **advertising**, not satirical content. The dominant feature is a Pennsylvania Oilproof Vacuum Cup Tires advertisement showing a dog barely escaping beneath a car tire—illustrating the tires' safety benefits on slippery pavement. The left column contains humorous "vacation phrases" (puns on common expressions), accompanied by a small cartoon of someone emptying a laundry basket, unrelated to the phrases. Additional advertisements include Hunter Whiskey and a call for film plot submissions. The only editorial content is a brief article titled "Those Millionaires," discussing post-Civil War economic development and burdens on wealthy Americans—a commentary on wealth distribution rather than satire. This is a typical early-20th-century magazine page mixing advertising, light humor, and brief opinion pieces.

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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

97 Some Vacation Phrases HE quick or the dead—Running for the village doctor. The aeronaut’s ambition realized in the hotel dining room—Plenty of flies. Making love to a circle of girls—An engagement ring. Sticketh closer than a brother—Pack of cards supplied by the hotel clerk. “Going up"—Your weekly Dill. The acid test—Getting back your laundry. “Ripping "—Your last year’s bath- ing suit. The midnight bus—On the back piazza with your best girl. Unsettled—The morning coffee. A ‘holy show—The rowboat you have hired for the season. Imprisoned for life—The table salt. After many years—The Sunday din- ner chicken. Unconstitutional—Your bed. A close corporation—Sitting next to a fat woman on the annual straw ride. Blue devils—Microbes in the milk. A pressing affair—Sleeping under blankets. Zero—Your bank account after your wife has drawn upon you at sight. A castle in the air—* Home Sweet Home.” | Pitsburgh, $05 Liberty Ay AX =>By LM “JOHNNY! YOU WERE AT THE BALL GAME YESTERDAY!" “yes’a! BUT I'VE BEEN PUNISHED ENOUGH. OUR TEAM LosT.” HUNTER WHISKEY RIPENED BY MATURITY, IN ABSOLUTE PURITY You can safely make ‘the quick dodge on. the skiddy, slippery pavement, and as safely and quickly recover your straight away—V. C, | “THE good driver isthe instinctive driver. In emergency his hands and feet act Grsthis thought after. The skiddy pavement— which in emergencies so often defeats the very best of driving, is made as trustworthy as a dry, hard PE NO; SYLVANIA VACUUM! CUPYTIRES 1c bositive ant-skid action first puzzl skeptical driver—then unfailingly enlists him among the tens of thousands of Vacuum Cup enthus Many drivers are even more impressed with the absolutely Oilproof quality—they like the sensation of calmly driving down the middle of the freshly ciled road, There's real substance behind the definite, printed guarantee of 4,000 miles. In average service Vacuum Cup Tires run far ahead in actual miles. ENNSYLVANIA, RUBBER COMPANY. JEANNETTE, PA, inneapoln, 34 Omaha, 215 South 20th Se. Detroit, 254 Jeferwn Avenue South 8th ae! Michigan Avenve Rises ey, Morse E-1omtSe. Seale’ Armour Bulking ENNSYLVANIA RUBBER Py renipals OF NEW YORK New York City, 1900 Besdeer Berkeley Street Dallas, 2111 Commerce Street PENNSYLVANIA RUBBER “COMPANY OF CALIFORNIA ‘San Francisco, $12-514 Mision Street Los Angeles, 930 South Main Street An Independent Company with an independent selling policy 1837 Euclid Avenve W, PLOTS tnter ison PLAYS You can write them, Manufacturers not ying $25 to $100 for each plot. We teach you how to write and sell them. No pre- ious experience necensary. Write now for free details, IRoCITED NOTION PICTURE SCHOOLS. G14 Sheridan Head, Chleaco Those Millionaires Americans are wont to speak of the burdens the Civil war threw on the country and of the losses it entailed, but among the losses it has not been usual to reckon that of the simple and natural life of a people content to live as their fathers had lived, and to de- velop their country by living and work- ing on the land, as their fathers had done. It has not occurred to them that the greatest burden of all left by the war was the creation of a millionaire class, and the consequent introduction of new and debased ideals of well-being, and the thousand evils, social, political, Sold at all first-class cafes and by jobbers. WM. LANAHAN & SON, Baltimore, Md. and national, that have sprung from it. H. Lusk, in“ Social Welfare in New Zealand.” Sturgis & Walton Company. comicbooks.com