Life — July 17, 1913 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

nA INT Scissors Sst} AUT NULLUS His Varying Title An old fellow attached to an Episcopal church in New England took a friend into his confidence as t> the triviality of the title by which he should be desig- nated. “Well,” said he, “the old church goes on the same, although it does change its expressions at times. Look at me. I used to be the janitor, Then along comcs a parson who calls me the sextant. The next minister says [ am a virgin; and the young man that's here now calls me the sacrilege. It's all a matter of taste.” —Harper's. How He Found It “So you claim the world is round,” sreered the skeptic. “ How do you know that it is not square?” “Because I have had too many deal- ings with it,” grimly replied Columbus. lorida Times-Union. “You have some lovely old things in os THE MODERN “MR. MICAWBER” your house, Mrs, Comeup. REMARKABLE FOR HIS RAPID ALTERNA- “Yes, but we have some beautiful new things, too, the latest out, You must sce TIONS OF DEPRESSION AND ELEVATION OF SPIRITS AND IIS CONSTANT PERSUASION the antiquarium we got for our goldfish.” —Baltimore American. THAT “SOMETHING WILL TURN Calling the Cows In many of his speeches President Vilson has contended that life in large ies is apt to tend to a rather re- stricted view of things. To illustrate his point he is fond of telling this story : “There is a certain elderly lady who had lived most of her life in fashion- able hotels. Her health failed somewhat and her iriends persuaded her to go to a farm house to “recuperate. “At the expiration of a very few days, however, the yearning for her accus- tomed mode of existence could not be denied and she returned to the city. To her friends she said that farm life was altogether too dull. “But, surely,’ one said, ‘there must be some happenings of interest on a farm.’ “*T saw only one such happening,’ she replied. And what was that?’ they inquired. “*Ob, that was when the farm hands went out into the meadows at night and paged the cows!" 7 New York World. Their Only Claim Discussing a rather Bohemian sct in Chicago, George Ade said at the Chi- cago Athletic Club: “These poor girls needn't think them- selves literary just because they use a pencil to darken their eyebrows with.” —New York Tribune. | Britain, Canada and Beitish Live i for sale by all newulealers tm Great Iritaln and may be obtained from booksellers ts all the priocigal 100 a\year in advance. Adiitional postage to foreign countries in the Postal Uniom, $1.08 a year; cities of the workl. "The foreign trade supplied trom LIFR'S London Otice, Cannon Mouse, Hreams Builliog, 2 Cents. Single current copies, 10 cents, Rack numbers, after tree months trom date of publication, Loatea, E. ©. wes priog to 1910 ost of print wappeierare sutribution wild be returned uncess accompanied by stamped and adtressed envelope. LAVE dott not self responsible Jor the lo4t OF MoMerCLMrn of wnsstictted Contributions, Challenges comparison with any other known mineral water in the world on its record of results. Dr. Roserts BartHoLow, Professor Emeritus of Materia Medica, General Thera- Al tics, Gtc., Jefferson Medical College, Philadelphia, said, in “Practical Treatise on NG He f jateria Medica and Therapeutics,” 1899, that Buffalo Lithia Water “contains well- Ma defined traces of lithia and is alkaline. It has been used with great advantage in gouty, rheumatic and renal affections.” i Now Dr. Georce Ben Jounston, Richmond, Va., ex-President Southern Surgical and But Gynecological Association, ex-President Medical Society of Virginia, and Professor t of Gynecology and Abdominal Surpery, Medical College of Virginia, says: “When From lithia is indicated, I prescribe Buffalo Lithia Water in preference to the salts of Ang Hil ercarcaed it is therapeutically superior to laboratory preparations of lithia, ithia tablets, etc. Eowarp M. E:puerr, M. D., Ph. D., Ch. D., Ph. G., University of Vienna, Chicago, lll, declares: “I have found Buffalo Lithia Water of undoubted service in the treatment of Uric Acid Gravel, Chronic Rheumatism and Gout.” Voluminous Medical Testimony on Request For Sale by the General Drug and Mineral Water Trade Bureato Lawn Sowines WATER C9 S2zn aE But ( BIG BUSINESS IN THE MAKING comicbooks.com