Life — June 26, 1913 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

1280 OUR FOOLISH NT! The Wage Too Minimum An Irish M. P. is telling a story of a man who complained to three friends, an Englishman, a Scotchman and an Irishman, that his servant’ was con- stantly breaking china. “What do you think I ought to do with her?" he asked plaintive The practical Englishman said: “Dis- miss her!” But as she was otherwise an excellent servant, has master was un- willing to do that “Then, take it out of suggested the thrifty Scot. “That wouldn't do much good,” was the reply, “for her w: than the amount of damage she does. “Then raise her Irishman promptly. —Pearson’s Weekly. Subtle Blarney Wartress: That fellow there wants some hot water to weaken his coffce! Restaurant Proprirtor: Flatterer! —Chicago Inter Ocean. her wages, wages!" said the The piquancy of a Sherbert is attained by using a dash | of Abbott's Bitters. Sample of bitters by mail, 25 cts. in| stamps. C. W. Abbott & Co., Baltimore, Md. | “Do you know anything about flirt- ing?” “No,” he replied sadly. “I thought I did, but when I tried it the girl mar- ried m Boston Globe. The Calox Habit is a careful brushing of your teeth’ night and morning, using plenty of Calox Tooth Powder and a Calox Tooth Then a regular periodic visit to you. dentist—he won't have much to do. Get the Calox Habit Sample ons Bi Blet free ou request. Ath for the Caton Tooth Brush, 38 b McKESSON & ROBBINS, New York ee The New Million Dollar GREENBRIER opens about October 1¢ WHITE SULPHUR SPRINGS v%g%ic “A European Cure without going to Europe” [TH thecomplction of thenew Bath House, White Sulphur Springs, ever famous as a health resort, will have every facility for making it "A Eur pean Cure without going to Euro) All the waters ai radio-active—special attention given to dict and all oth cure’ features of European resorts — nowhere America can they be so acarly duplicated as at this fascinating resort in the mountains. Every opportunity is afforded for rest, health and recreation. A splendid Thole goll course, swimming in the luxurious pool, tennis, riding, fishing, hunting—all lend their charms to this glorious retrcat, Here, the air ig cool and invigorating—here, there are : 1 can enjoy real Southern cook very modern convenience, The ., the million-dollar fire-proof hos- telry opens about October Ist—X0 rooms, each with bath—European plan, The present splendid hotel, " completely re{urnished, remains open all sum- mer on the American plan, Remember, WhiteSulphur Spring . ‘Through sleeping cars {rom all pointseast and west. On Une of the C. & O.. Write today for NEW RATED BOOKLET and full particulars to asily accessible, George F. Adams, White Sulphur, West Virginia SPEND YOUR VACATION AT WHITE SULPHUR SPRINGS, W. VA. in SN” scum neemeomemems 775 Try It Angus Carney, who has announced that he is his own grandfather, has neighbors doing mental arithmetic which makes the age of Anne a mere primary problem. He has compiled the following : “T met a widow with a grown daughter and I married the widow. Then my father met my step-daughter and mar- ried her. That made my wife the mother-in-law of her father-in-law, and made my step-daughter my step-mother. My father became my step-son. “Then my step-mother, the daughter of my wife, had a son. That boy was, of course, my brother, because he was my father’s son. But he was also the son of my wife's daughter and there- fore my grandson. That made grandfather of my wife's grandson. “ Then my wife had a son. My mother- in-law, the step-sister, is also his grand- mother, because he is Fer step-son’s child. My father is the brother-in-law of my child, because the step-sister is his wife. I am a brother of my own son, who is also the child of my step-grand- mother. I am my mother’s brother-in- law. My wife is her child's aunt. My son is my father’s nephew and I am my own grandfath me —San Antonio Light. GREAT BEAR SPRING WATER SO cents per case of 6 glass stoppered bottles Brace (of Connecticut): How did you find those cigars, colonel? Wace: Delicious, old man. We had them for dinner last evening, boiled with corned beef —Truth. Some men are great successes in mak- ing moncy, but terrible failures in se- lecting ways to spend it. ashinato Synonymous It was Springer's afternoon off, and he thought he would take the children for a little outing. My dear,” he said, approaching his wife, “suppose we take the children to the Zoo to-day.” “Why, Will, you promised to take them to Mother's.” “All right, if it's all the same to the children."—Lippincott's. Nature’s Laboratory Nature has given us water—her one great solvent—and she has given us FLAKE GRAPHITE—her one great aid to better lubrication. The tiny, oily FLAKES cling tightly to the bear- ings, making a veneer-like coating of marvelous smoothness and endurance, DIXON’S Graphite Greases have received most remarkable endorse- ments from the ‘Speed Kings of r Motordom.” DIXON'S GRAPHITE GREASE No. 677 makes better lubrication, less noise | and less wear, Send name and model of car for free oart JOSEPH DIXON CRUCTRLE CO Established in 1827 Jeray City, New Jereey | ie . TT, \ NDI a comicbooks.com