Life — June 19, 1913 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“LIFE Coming June 17.—Anniversary of the Battle of Bunker Hill. (Historic altercation between several citizens of Boston and King George of London, Eng. George lost by showing the whites of bis eyes.) Business will be continued as usual among the Hebrews of America, First Harvard-Yale baseball game. A far more important matter than the Bunker Hill episode, as a comparison of the respective attendances will show. Tenth General Council of the Alliance of the Reformed and Presbyterian Churches of the World, Aberdeen, Scotland. The rest of the world will proceed pleasantly on its way to damnation. Trans-Mississippi Golf Championship, Glen Echo Club, St. Louis, Mo. Contestants will be accompanied by club servants carrying portable skiffs. Celebration of Flag Day by the Cincinnati Chapter of D. A. R The I. W. W. has decided to permit a restricted display of the Stars and Stripes. June 18.—The steamship “Imperator,” the largest ship in. the world—up to the time of going to press—is due to arrive in New York harbor. See local newspapers for photographs of the “ Im: perator” standing on end alongside the Woolworth building. Birthday of Gustavus V, King of Sweden. The increasing tendency of Kings to have birthdays, like common folk, is proof positive of the onward sweep of Democracy. The Powers have intimated, however, that minor monarchs will be permitted to have but one birthday a year. Centennial celebration of Sixteenth Regiment of Dragoons at Hanover, Germany. The French nation will send a floral piece bearing the legend: “ Guerre y soit, qui guerre y pense.” Dedication of the Valley Forge monument at Valley Forge, near Camden, N. J. Art Exhibtion at Tilburg, Holland. For the benefit of visiting Americans who are not certain whether their galleries at home are done in early Renaissance or North German Lloyd. Positively no Cubists allowed. Commencements at the following institutions of learning: Uni- versity of Virginia; University of Pennsylvania; Cornell University; Wesleyan University; Brown University; Lafayette College: Yale University; Tufts College; Washington and Jefferson; University of Rochester. The reformation of the human race is now confidently expected. Anniversary of the Battle of Waterloo. (Won by " Duke” Wellington, of London, Eng. On this occasion a gentleman named Blucher was slightly late.) Memorial panics will be held on the Paris Bourse. June 19.—Kennel Club Dog Show, Cincinnati, O. Vivisectionists have adopted resolutions of protest. They complain that such affairs only tend to create a false sentiment in favor of the dog. Such sentiment, they have resolved, is intolerable in this Lighly sterilized day. The Dog Show, however, will be given as advertised. Algonquin Hill’ Climbing Contest for all makes of automobiles, Chicago, Ill. Little interest is being displayed in this event among the sweat-shop workers of the tenement districts. International Horse Show opens at Olympia, Eng.* Unparalleled opportunity for American heiresses. Positively only the best British aristocracy on exhibition. Titles guaranteed to your taste—or your million back, As an especial feature, horses will be shown. *Sulfragettes permitting. June 20.—Harvard-Yale crew races at New London, Conn. Mr. Anthony Comstock is undergoing a fierce mental struggle over the question of the athletes’ bare legs. Possibly he will insist upon frock coats and afternoon trousers, with silk hats for contestants inclined to baldness. American Medical Association Convention at Minneapolis, Minn. Dr. Friedmann will not be present. He has an engagement with Dr, Cook to discuss ways and means. Australian Cricket team, in Philadelphia, a slow game. International Women’s Suffrage Congress at Budapest, Hungary With the accent—regarding it from a British point of view—on the pest. It need not be pointed out that Hungary was selected as a delicate compliment to Mrs. Pankhurst and her well-known method of leaving jail. Close of the International Forestry Congress in Paris (France). Resolutions will be adopted protesting against "> ~nrestrained con- sumption of toothpicks in American hotels. Cricket is proverbially A COAT OF ARMS June 21—Intercollegiate Crew Races, Poughkeepsie, N. Y. Among those present will be Cornell. _ Second week of the Military and Naval Exhibition at Earl's Court, Eng. The Hearst newspapers have discovered, exclusively, that the exhibition is in reality a war threat against the United States. They have warned Mr. Bryan of the sinister presence of the British polo team. Possibly Mr. Brisbane will seize Canada. New York Athletic Club, motor boat race to Block Island. For $2,500 cup offered by Sir Thomas Lipton. Positively the most expensive tea-cup on record. A State Primary will be held in Arkansas to select a candidate for Governor. A method of procedure not at all popular with Mr. Charles F. Murphy, of Ireland and New York City. City Tennis Tournament, Pittsburgh, Pa. The balls will be rubbed with phosphorus so that the players can find them in the smoke. June 22—Scottish Ladies’ Golf Championship. The use of the mashie has been prohibited on the grounds of Sex Appeal. German and Scandinavian International Aviation contest starts at Berlin. Great Britain is feverishly building airships with which to stave off an invasion. Festival of German Swabian Singing Association at Tabingen. The stein-song will be a popular number. June 23.—Birthday of H. R. H. the Prince of Wales. Rumors from Buckingham Palace are to the effect that Queen Mary has been sitting up nights wondering what to give Edward for a present this year. Further reports state that the Queen has about decided to have the Prince measured for a bomb-proof shooting lodge in hither Scotland. Birthday presents from suffragettes will be dipped in the Thames and returned, unopened. International Fencing Tournament, London. Pessimists who foresee a German invasion have recommended barbed-wire. Tennis Tournaments: New Orleans, La.; Wilmington, Del.; Hart- ford, Conn.; Orange, N. J.; Buffalo, 'N. ¥.; Newburgh, 2 Onwentsia Polo Club, National Western Tournament; Meadow- brook Polo Club, regular tournament. Illustrating the frivolous state of the nation’s mind on the eve of a war with Japan.