Life, 1913-06-19 · page 14 of 52
Life — June 19, 1913 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
The main illustration depicts anthropomorphic farm animals (a goat, pig, and what appears to be other creatures) seated around a table with bottles and glasses, apparently dining or drinking together in a farm setting with fences visible behind them. The caption provides the joke: The Goat finds the gathering "tiresome," while the Pig responds that the goat is "no worse than the average after-dinner speaker"—a swipe at tedious public speakers of the era. Below are two text pieces: "The Lure" (a poem about leaving country life for city comforts) and "Golf Terms" (humorous golf definitions). The overall page satirizes the contrast between rural and urban life, and pokes fun at social conventions and leisure activities of early 20th-century American society.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Goat: The Pig: TIRESOME. OH! Hr’s NO WORSE THAN THE AVERAGE AFTER-DINNER SPEAKER, ISN'T HE? The Lure NCE I was a good commuter, Faithful to my evening train, Faithful as an ardent suitor— Lass ne’er had a worthier swain. I would leave the hives of Gotham On the five-nineteen express, Playing poker in the smoker With an ardor none may guess. Friends would tell me, “You are thinner Than you were in days of yore. Better be a city sinner Than a dried-up country bore.” Vainly was I asked to languish In Manhattan's moil and stress. Ah! that poker in the smoker Of the five-ninetcen express! By and by the West called Harris— He who always bluffed and lost; One day Williams went to Paris, And old London summoned Frost. I was left in desperation, Feeling lonely, more or less— No more poker in the smoker Of the five-nineteen express! Now I prosper in the city, T am quite a millionaire; Friends say, “ See how well and fit he Looks,” when I go anywhere. Yet I'd rather lose Youth's color Than the friends I used to bless, And play poker in the smoker Of the five-nineteen express! Charles Hanson Towne, Golf Terms LONG lie: Sending a letter to your wife in Europe. . Landing on the green: Marrying an heiress. Slicing the ball: Cutting out every- thing but the turkey-trot. Holing in: When your wife darns * your socks. A short drive: A blowout in the first half-mile in your auto. Winning the toss: Getting over the fence in time to escape your neigh- bor’s bull. Out of bounds: When you've been doing the Kangaroo glide for hours. Bogie: The other fellow who calls on your best girl. A Hazard: Life. comicbooks.com