Life — May 29, 1913 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AAStechionedPD POKER TERM—" RAISING THE ANTI” HE man who asks every girl he meets for a kiss gets a lot of rebuffs—also a lot of kisses. Cities Everywhere I ny of our friends among the municipalities of this efficient land should desire to lay a few water mains or make other needed im- provements, we commend them to the example of Jersey City. As long as forty years ago Jersey City knew exactly how to proceed in the most [a logical manner. She laid water anny mains which cost $500,000, including Did Jersey Ci then make the foolish mistake of raising this money by taxation, paying for these mains and thus closing the politicians’ grafts and other rake-offs. transaction at once? Not at all. Jersey City was too sophisticated in financial matters for that. Jersey City borrowed the money at seven per cent. and accordingly has been able, up to date, to contribute $1,400,000 to the magnificent financial structure of which Wall Street is the chief center. “And so at last the water mains are all paid for?” queries the bewildered tyro. What a foolish question. Of course they are not paid for. Jersey City owes $500,- 000, exactly as much as she did in the first place, but, of course, she hasn’t quite as much to show for it, as the water mains are no longer new. No matter what becomes of the water mains, however, we shall know that they have been properly financed and that’s all that one really needs to know about anything. What is so wonderful as finance? What else would enable us to get something without paying for it and, at the very same time, pay for it without getting it? BO. F. Ef You Don't Watch Out By Axna Nixon R. WOODROW WILSON'’S come to Washington to stay, An’ change the tariff schedule, an’ clear the trusts away, An’ shoo the grafters off the porch, an’ dust the laws, an’ An’ air the Constitution, an’ carn his board-an'-kee| An’ all the party leaders, when their office work is done, They gather at the White House an’ has the mostest fun A-list’nin’ to the awful tales ‘at Woodrow tells about, An’ the Hoodoo at gits you Ef you Don't Watch Out! Onc’t they was a great big man ‘at wouldn't smash a trust,— An’ wouldn't change the tariff when the people said he must ; So the people held a ‘lection—they held it in the fall, An’ when the votes was counted, he wasn’t there at all! They seeked him in the capital, an’ at the golf links there, They secked him in the White House, they secked him every- where; But all they ever found was just some golf sticks strewed about :— An’ the Hoodoo ‘ll git you An’ onet they was another man ‘at bossed the folks about, An’ stirred things up in general, an’ put wild beasts to rout; An’ mocked folks an’ shocked 'em, an’ said he didn't care, He'd come to Washington again, an’ sit in his old chair; An’ as he waved his stick, an’ turned to run again, They was a great big Bull Moose a-standin’ by him then; But when the votes was counted, they wasn’t any dou%t That the Hoodoo "ll git you Ef you Don't Watch Out! An’ Mr. Woodrow Wilson says: “ My friends, pray don't feel blue ; Jes’ follow me an’ do your best, an’ maybe one o' you Will be clected President some one o’ these bright days.” An’ jes’ before they bid good-night, why Woodrow Wilson says: “You'd better mind your party, an’ the people, fond an’ true, An’ churish well the platform, an’ mind cach P an’ Q, An’ make the tariff law jes’ right, an’ watch what you're about, Er the Hoodoo may git me Ef you Don't Wateh Out comicbooks.com