Life — May 22, 1913 — page 38: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

_-LIFE- Noise N”: was not invented by the American people, but they have done more to develop it than any one else. If you doubt this, go to a dinner party given by an American society woman. The manufacture of noise in most countries is produced by natural causes. In America it is the work of specialists. There are more people making a living out of noise in this country than anywhere clse on earth. Scientists are constantly trying to invent new noises. We depend as much upon new fresh noises as we do upon new novels, new plays and new adulterations Safety Assured Noise consists of vibrations,. arranged in the noisiest way. A loud noise is not to be For despised, but the test of all noises is the one that is different from any other we have ever Motor Boat or Motor Car B; heard. Huge factorics are devoted to the production of noise. It is canned, metalized and strung on wires. Nothing succceds like noise. When we reach the millennium, we shall live ‘cc 4 ” on noiseless noise. Hasten the day! The Jasco Tank The Seamless, Leakless, Drawn Steel Gasoline Receptacle Don't take chances with your gasoline supply, Hideous accidents are occurring every day owing to the use of old fashioned, | ff Icaky, seamed or riveted tanks. Insure your safety with the ‘ JASCO.” Made in all standard sizes and styles, at your i | KSA ff dealer's or direct. JANNEY, STEINMETZ & CO. Main Office: New York Ofice: Philadelphia Hedson Terminal Bldg. We Are Doomed TRUTTER PLUNKETT, presi- dent of the Consolidated Hot Air Trust, was quite emphatic when ap- proached. He shook his head ominous- ly and said: “Tt is only a question of a short time now when the United States will be bankrupt. The people as a whole are a dependent upon our particular indus- try, and inasmuch as we shall be un- able to manufacture hot air at a profit Ca of 333-18 per cent, it naturally fol- e lows that the end is only a question of MEE Ree) weeks. In my feeble and modest way I called upon President Wilson re- “Beer acted upon by light soon takes up the very disagree- cently—also Mr. Underwood—and ex- able so-called ‘light taste,’ and also a repulsive skunk-like plained to them the effect upon the odor.*** Beer so affected is offensive to the palate of most American people of the new tariff bill Consumers.**° Beer should not be exposed to light, eapecially I feel there is nothing more to be said.” to direct sunlight, as it will thereby be detrimentally affected, President Gilltrotter Smythe, of the the light having an influence upon the albuminoids in beer, causes the beer to become hazy.***” Extract from “The Beer Bottlers* Handy Book,” published by the Wah!-Henius Institute of Fermentology. The Brown Bottle is not a fad. Its use by Schlitz is based on scientific principles. The first Schlitz was brewed in a hut, over sixty years ago. Now The Original our agencies dot the earth. Our output excoeds a million barrels a year. Rig ERO Ramie Fibre Why don’t you make Schlitz your regular beer? It’s pure beer. |] . is guaranteed absolutely pure (100%), amie Linen. ot | adulterated with cotton, of other erials ae ° a The United States Government Report No. 7 @ | Department of Agriculture, Fibre Investigation. pe Bpuncee Ramie the most wonderful and valuable of : Itis endorsed by the highest medical authorities of th m, world for its hygienic properties, and as a perfect mal for Health Underwear. See that crown or cork phe Schlichten Rami summer-weirht garmente Fes is *§ ” luxury for hot weather, the Ramie Linen being d is branded ‘Schlitz. cool, having the highest absorbing and evaporating pow ofall known textile substances. For sale by leading dealers everywhere. w T If your dealer cannot supply you, we can direct you he Bee q ‘one who can, Write us for booklet and samples. F \ SCHLICHTEN-RAMIE COMPANY That Made Milwaukee Famous. S a0 Fourth Arey comicbooks.com