Life, 1913-05-15 · page 36 of 52
Life — May 15, 1913 — page 36: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two brief humorous anecdotes and several advertisements typical of an early 1900s American satirical magazine. **"Nothing Serious"** satirizes fortune-hunting European aristocrats. A marquis marries an American heiress for her wealth, then grows cold toward her. When she mentions her father is "failing," the marquis brightens—relieved the father is merely dying rather than losing his fortune. The joke mocks the mercenary motives of titled European men seeking American wealth. **"Grammatical Oversight"** critiques English language illogic. The writer defends using "scissors" singularly by pointing out similar grammatical absurdities: "fork" should be plural (like scissors), "glove" should be singular (opposite of scissors), and "shears" presents parallel confusion. It's wordplay highlighting the tongue's inconsistent rules. The remaining content consists of period advertisements for Egyptian Deities cigarettes, Heisey's glassware, Craven Mixture tobacco, and Abbott's Bitters—typical commercial placements funding the magazine.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Nothing Serious The girl had wedded a foreign heiress- hunting marquis. “ Alphonse,” the girl asked one even. ing, “why have you been so strange and cold of late The marquis scowled and said: “ Did you not tell me last week that your father was failing?" “Yes, physically failing,” she replied. “Oh,” said the marquis, and his look brightened. He heaved a sigh of relief. “Oh,” said he, “that's all right, then. I thought it was something serious.” —London Opinion. GREAT REAR SPRING WATER 50 conts per case of 6 class stoppered bottles Particular “What you need,” said the doctor, “is an operation.” “Very well,” replied the “Which operation are you cleverest at?"—Detroit Free Press. Al over the world in the ‘pleasant ‘places, you will find the smoke of Deities curling up, i lhe a bit of incense to the occasion.the scene and the company. Egyptian Darrin “Te Utmest in G igarettes” Cork Tips or Plan a Grammatical Oversight Come to A correspondent has complained that in a story the other day we used “ scis- sors” in the singular number. If we did so it was an oversight. But this kick ce wits ery es just goes to show another one of the ne foolishnesses of our beloved tongue. Tis yee wl mark the Toa Mo there were any logic in it a thre Peace Palace at the Hague fork is a triplet and should alw: SAR WES SGA Gee called “they.” Why isn’t a glove plural by he ceremonies fa wortiwide impor if a scissors are? If a shears is two, what are a sawbuck ? —Cleveland Plain Dealer. Heisey’s “QA Heiseys Glassware Includes a myriad of beautiful as @==# well as serviceable pieces 341 soz yy 341 SALT fl \ Pi & PEPPER 341 HALF JA daily use. Our book will tell you many things about table glass and its use. Write for a copy. THE THIRD EARL OF CRAVEN Inventor of the Pinest Smoking Tobacco in the World ‘Craven Mixture (Made in England) What I call the “Arcadia” in “My Lady Nicotine” is the Craven Mixture and no other. J. Af, BARRIB This famous mixture has the largest sale of any high class smoking tobacco in the world. If your deater cannot supply you at once, send 30 cents for 1} of. oF GO centa for 3.02. scaled tin, expecially Imported for fastidious emokers. Packed Lehir oy Loose of in Cartridgetorm for Baron Pipe Filer. AGENTS OF CARRERAS, Ltd, 119 West Und “Street A w York City Silently Enthusiastic “1 wonder why that chap is always so quiet?” “Well, you see, he graduated from the school of experience, and that institu- tion has no college yell.” Eith —St. Paul Despatch. A teaspoonful of Abbott's Bitters with your Grape Fruit makes an ideal appetizing tonic, ple of bitters by mail, 2g cte, in stamps. C. W, Abbott & Co., Baltimore. Md. LI Heck: What was the worst storm you ever encountered? Peck: I think it raged at the rate of three hundred words a minute. —Boston Transcript. comicbooks.com