Life, 1913-05-15 · page 16 of 52
Life — May 15, 1913 — page 16: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three separate satirical pieces: 1. **"A Fable Without Slang"**: A morality tale about class and romance. A wealthy man discovers his chauffeur plans to elope with his daughter. Rather than forbidding it, he pragmatically offers the chauffeur cigars and promises of comfortable housing—removing the forbidden-fruit allure. The chauffeur doesn't elope. The moral: practical reality kills romantic fantasy. 2. **"Modus Operandi"**: A cynical joke about coal mine owners deliberately staging strikes to justify raising prices—depicting industrial labor disputes as manufactured theater for profit. 3. **"Like Baseball"**: A satirical commentary (appearing to reference WWI-era concerns about 1912) where all military officers above private rank are covering the war for newspapers rather than fighting it. The joke: military leadership is absent because journalists have taken over. 4. **Image caption**: Appears to mock overly colorful appearance in manufactured goods or babies, though the context is unclear. All reflect early 20th-century anxieties about class, labor, media, and modernization.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
EE ow wees Ne et “HERE, I SAY, Y'SNOW! THAT ISN'T FAIR” | A Fable Without Slang! The Rich Man, His Daughter, and the Chauffeur RICH man, who suspected his only daughter was planning to clope with his chauffeur, took the fellow aside and offered him an excellent cigar. “T understand,” he said, “that you are about to clope with my only daughter.” The chauffeur was too surprised to answer, but his expression betrayed him. “That's all right,” said the rich man, “and it’s no use to argue the matter. What I want you to promise is that you'll come back after the honeymoon. I dare say you can make a comfortable home over the garage, and I should be sorry to lose such a good chauffeur.” That night, when the stars were shining like myriad eyes, the chauffeur did not elope with the rich man’s only daughter. MORAL, A plain fact often discourages romance. Ralph Bergengren. Modus Operandi IRST COAL MINE OWNER: Isn't it about time to advance the price of coal twenty-five cents a ton? Secon C. M. O.: Just about. “Then make arrangements to bring on another strike.” Like Baseball 4 HE PRESIDENT (during the war of 2012): But where are all the officers of our army? Tue Private: Please, sir, everybody above the rank } of private is covering the battle for the New York papers. WHEN BABIES ARE CHEMICALLY MANUFACTURED TOO MUCH COLORING MATTER USED IN SMITH'S ORDER FOR A DRUNETTE comicbooks.com