Life — April 17, 1913 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

llehaer At Rest at Last In a recent long-drawn trial in New York the defense introduced a miner as a witness and went into a detailed in- quiry as to his exact whereabouts for the past ten years, It was most weari- some. For a day and a half the lawyers asked this man to tell his wanderings year by year, Finally they got down to 1911 and asked him: “What did you do on May 16, 1911?" “TL went to Cobalt.” “ How long did you remain there?" “1 save been there ever since.” Juror Number Nine rose in his place and said fervently: “Thank God!” —Saturday Evening Post. in a Pinch, use ALLEN’S FOOT-EASE “Jack told me last night that I looked sweet enough to kiss.” “And what did you say?” “T told him that was the way I in- tended to look."—Boston Transcript. The Ideal Year to Visit HOLLAND THE PICTURESQUE ‘Tho Centenary of the Restoration of Holland's Independence Will be celebrated this summer by Interesting exhi (tions and FESTIVITIES IN 30 TOWNS Includiag the inauguration of the Peace Palace at The Hague. A visit to charming Middelburg. the Gem City’ of Holland, with {ta quaint, old-century manners and customs, should be 8 feature of every tour. ‘The quickest route from England to Holland ts via Pushing, on the new steamers delu ¢, the largest crossing the channel. ‘wor of a big 65 footer. Youd always be proud of your Elco THF z QUALITY AND REFINEMENT are essential in all things which would breathe distinction and individuality. These features always make you look twice at an Elco Motor Boat. The new 45 ft. Elco Cruiser reaches the highest pinnacle in successful boat building. Sleeping quarters for eight, with private stateroom, it has all the luxury and sea- The Elco Express, another triumph in reliability and staunchness, will “serve you on the water as the automobile does on land.” Elcoplanes 30 ico BMOTOR BOATS t> 50 miles per hour Bultt under Elco and Pauder Patents. ‘Write for new catalogue of “Marine Views” sto Blog 175 Avenue A, Bayonne, N. J. Teleghone, 470 Bayonne minutes from Libert 2 and 2ed Se. Ferries, C RR. AN. J. to West 8th Street Experienced Emprover: Do you know the dutics of an office boy? Orrice Boy: Yes, sir; wake up the bookkeeper when I hear the boss coming. —New Orleans Times-Democrat. A teaspoonful of Abbott's Bitters with your Gre Fruit ¥ | makes an ideal appetizing tonic. Sample of bitters by mail, agcts.in stamps. C, W. Abbott & Co,, Baltimore, Md, "AR Jimmie? Jiaaite: No one. I was lookin’ thro’ a knot-hole in the fence at a football match, an’ got it sunburnt : Who giv’ yer yer black eye, —London Sketch, water CALVADOS tas coming from inheritance—guaranteed fifty years in wood. Price $20.00 per bottle, duties and carriage extra, by box of ten bottles. Sent on receipt of letter en- closing money order. Mr. Baubean - Bons-Tassilly - (Calvados-France) AT LAST!! A Gasoline Gauge for automobiles that is accurate and dependable — up hill, hottest and gasoline in Ye pen O) Gasoline Gauge down hill, on side list, and on the coldest days. Shows at a glance the amount of $7.50 Brass or Nickel Finish (Attaches to the Dash) SOME OF ITS MANY ADVANTAGES No more Dry Tanks miles from Garage. Detects Leaky Tanks immediately. No more pulling up cushions to run Shows instantly amount of measuring stick into tank. ‘As dependa jasoline that gore into tank and amount being consumed per mile. ble as your watch and will not get out of order. Pull dtrecttons for installing sent with each gauge. Supplied at present for the 1912 and 1913 Ford, Overland, Buick, E. M.F., and the 1913 Studebaker. WHEN WRITING, STATE MODEL If for other cars, send us name, model and year, and we will notify you if we ean supply you. Not made at present for care having pressure tanks. If your dealer cannot wy ‘you, we will, direct, on receipt of price. Ca! C. F. ROPER & CO., . 3 giving full particulars, sent free. Hopedale, Mass. Wanted to Swap Two Kansas City lawyers, whose names are withheld for obvious reasons, declare that they were present when the following incident occurred : Uncle Mose was a chronic thief who usually managed to keep within the petty larceny limit. One time he mis- calculated, however, and was sent to trial on a charge of grand larceny. “Have you a lawyer, Mose?” asked the court. No, sah.” Well, to be perfectly fair, I'll ap- point a couple. Mr. Jones and Mr. Brown will act as counsel.” “What's dat?” “Act as your lawyers—consult with them and prepare to tell me whether you are guilty or not guilty.” “Yas, sah.” Mose talked to his attorneys for a few moments in husky whispers. The judge caught only the word alibi, several times repeated. Then Mose arose, scratched his head, and addressed the court “ Jedge, yoh Honah,” he said. “ Cou'se Ah’s only an’ ign’ant niggah, an’ Ah don’ want toh bothah yoh Honah, but Ab would suttinly like toh trade, yoh Honah, one ob dese yeah lawyers foh a witness.” —Everybody’s Magazine. comicbooks.com