Life, 1913-03-27 · page 11 of 60
Life — March 27, 1913 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a Johnnie Walker whisky advertisement disguised as humorous verse. The "lay" (poem) tells of "Poor Thompson," a lonely boarding-house resident whose sole comfort is anticipating whisky at home. The joke: Thompson's bottle has been tampered with—the contents evaporated or were replaced with water, leaving only the label's promise. The satire targets Prohibition-era substitution fraud. During Prohibition, legitimate bottles were often refilled with inferior products. The ad promotes Johnnie Walker's "Protective Bottle" with a tamper-proof stopper, claiming it prevents adulteration. The caricatured "old Johnnie Walker" character appears at bottom, hawking the Red and Black Label varieties as reliable solutions to contamination problems consumers actually faced.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Lay of the Lonesome Lodger Poor Thompson was weary. He'd been to a show, Because he'd no home, and had no place to go. “No home,” did we say? It is true he'd a ‘ room,” But he dwelt there alone, in bachelor gloom. He had one comfort left : it cheered him to think That when he got home he would have a good drink. A bottle was always awaiting him there; (The label was squint, but the bottle was square /) And now, as he thought of the flavor in store, He hurried his diggings-ward footsteps the more. The bottle he'd “ marked,” and had placed on the shelf, To see if the ‘‘cat” had been helping herself. But when he'd reached home, and had poured out his glass, He found that the flavor had altered, alas! Right up to the “* mark "—he was sure ‘twas his own— The contents still reached—but the flavor had flown! « Though thin,” he exclaimed, ‘I declare it's ‘too thick.’ I'll alter my digs—to my whisky I'll stick ! “It's ‘up to the mark’ in the quantity—yes ; But, thanks to the water, the quality’s less / “I wish that some genius would work with a will, To make a new bottle that wouldn't refill!" Next morning he told his best friend of his woes. “ Why, look here,” cried his friend, “ right under your nose ‘Ts just what you're looking for. Read this new ‘ad’ A protective bottle at last can be had.” Cried Thompson: “ New stopper! You can't pour it back ! By Jove! 1 believe that they're on the right track! « And—luck double-headed !—old Johnnie Walker! Talk of ‘ good tidings '—this ‘ad' ts a talker! “Both ‘Red’ and ‘ Black’ Labels—aged ten and twelve years— No more substitution! An end to my fears!” SOIRININOE Y-ANoIALEr2 RED Label (°7,7") BLACK Label (°1))2200") To safeguard these ages, the policy of the distillers for the future is the same as their policy of the past. First and foremost to see that the margin of stocks over sales is always large enough to maintain the unique quality. HOW TO POUR Tilt the bottle quickly, nearly upside down. If the whisky does not flow freely, give the bottle a slight shake to set the valve in motion. If you have any difficulty in obtaining Johnnie Walker whisky in the new “Protective Bottle,” send us a postal card with the name of your dealer, and we will see that you are supplied. Address: WILLIAMS & HUMBERT, Agents, 1158 Broadway, New York. comicbooks.com