Life, 1913-03-13 · page 38 of 44
Life — March 13, 1913 — page 38: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertising**, not political satire. It features commercial ads for Pears' Soap, Phoenix Silk Hose, Evans' Stout, and Orange Blossom Candies. The only non-advertising content is a **book review in verse** by Arthur Guiterman, humorously critiquing A.S.M. Hutchinson's novel *The Happy Warrior*. The poem summarizes a melodramatic plot: two friends, Percy and Rollo, both love a woman named Dora. Percy discovers he's actually the rightful Lord Burdon but nobly refuses to use this advantage against his friend. A convict overhears this secret, threatens to expose it, and Percy kills him to prevent it—ultimately leading to Percy's own death. Guiterman's satire mocks the novel's sentimental morality, suggesting Percy's self-sacrifice was foolish: "Why didn't Percy bravely bare / The Truth?—for then we'd not deplore a / 'Nobility' that wasn't fair." The review gently ridicules overwrought Victorian-era plotting and noble-suffering tropes popular in contemporary literature.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Soap that is All Soap Unmixed with Water Solid Value Water is cheap. That is why you get so much of it in common toilet soaps. Pears is all pure soap in every particle, so that although its first cost may be a trifle more than that of the ordinary soap, it lasts so long that its ultimate cost is very much less. Thus, as a matter of economy alone, it possesses undoubted ad- vantages over the low priced soaps, composed of water and low grade materials which injure the skin. Other Value Being waterless, Pears never dries up—never shrinks. It remains hard all through, in any climate, and will wear as thin as a sixpence. Another point of value is that being of such purity and efficacy in every particle, a very little of it gives a sufficient profusion of lather for toilet or bath, while in regard to cleansing and beautifying proper- ties, there is nothing in the whole range of saponaccous products to equal Pears, which is matchless for the complexion. Pears’ Soap The Soap That Lasts Twice as Long as Ordinary Soaps ‘THE GREAT ENGLISH COMPLEXION SOAP Rhymed Review The Happy Warrior (By A. S. M. Hutchinson. — Little. Brown & Co.) Young Percival, the Rightful Heir, And Rollo, wrongly styled, “Lord Burdon,” Were comrades leal through foul and fair— The closest friends you ever heard on Like Pythias and Damon grew These honest lads for many seasons; And only Percy’s Auntie knew The Truth—withheld for crazy reasons, Now Percy owned what seems a quite Unwarranted affection for a Convention-governed, pin! And frosty maiden known as Dora. He melted Dora’s heart of ice; She loved him in a way of speaking; He kissed her, maybe once or twice And went abroad a-fortune-seeking When home he came with plea and vow His Do: ith, alas! was hollow. Said she, “ You mustn't kiss me now, Because I'm just engaged to Rollo. “T love you—yes (I can’t afford To have so dear a friend mistake me), But Rollo—Rollo is a Lord; I’ve got to marry him; they'll make me,” Now Percy’s Auntie whispered, “Go And claim the girl, for you're Lord Burdon!” But Percy's soul protested, “No! What! pay my friend such evil guerdon?” However, Auntie’s whispered word Another ear was quick to swallow; The convict, Hunt, had overheard, And swore he'd tell (he hated Rollo). So Percy squeezed that convict’s throat; Till Hunt, who loathed that kind of banter, Produced a pistol from his coat And killed poor Percival, instanter! Why didn’t Percy bravely bare The Truth?—for then we'd not de- plore a “Nobility” that wasn’t fair To Rollo, Percival or Dora. Arthur Guiterman, 330 WIG MIA SS NOMONY SK WW >B>#:K)[S SSSSS + Women’s, 75c., $1.00, $1.50, | $2.00 Pair ms At All Goed Dealers “Made in Americe” by PHOENIX KNITTING WORKS — Fag 24 Broad 74 Milwaukes Ge Wildl Wild MEL NS SSSSSGS WS N The Sunshine of Life vans aang It Is the elizie of protonged life, effort and eMctency, and makes work pleasurable activity. the joy of living fresh In the human heart. ‘Order Supply for Home Experime: Serene ritsot? x x, 1918 ORANGE BLOSSOM CALIFORNIA CANDIES THEY RE_ DIFFERENT comicbooks.com