Life — February 13, 1913 — page 39: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Mark Twain's Christmas Present Just before Christmas a member named Scott said one day: “Mr. Clemens, you have an extra overcoat hanging in the coatroom. I've got to attend my uncle’s funeral and it's raining very hard. I'd like to wear it.” The coat was an old one, in the pockets of which Clemens kept a melan- choly assortment of pipes, soiled hand- kerchiefs, neckties, letters, and what not “Scott,” he said, “if you won't lose anything out of the pockets of that coat you may wear it.” An hour or two later Clemens found a notice in his mail box that a package for him was in thg office. He called for it and found a neat bundle which some- how had a Christmas look. He carried it up to the reading-room with a showy air. “Now, boys,” he said, “you may make all the fun of Christmas you like, but it’s pretty nice, after all, to be re- membered.” They gathered around and he undid the pack: It was filled with the pipes, soiled handkerchiefs, and other articles from the old overcoat. Scott had taken special precautions against losing them. Mark Twain regarded them in silence, then he drawled : “Well, blast that Scott. I hope his uncle's funeral will be a failure.” —The Bookman. Marcaret: You look gloomy. Katuarine: I am. discouraged. If another of my sisters gets married there won't be enough furniture left for me to entertain a single beau. $1.00 Brings Them for Festive Feasting Reymers’ Chocolates! Very Best Chocolates! Made for Pittsburgh's millionaires — rare fruits, plump, perfect nuts, exquisitely fla- ii ich vored creams, each dipped in a thick, coating of pure, rich, sweet chocolate— <The candy that makes every festive occasion come pkte—a treat for yout tueat for your friends you will never find a more welcome gift. A dollar bill in an envelope. with your name and dress, and you make their acquaintance. If you wishus_ toprepay carrying charges, enclose 30centsin stamps, Uf you would like more information before you buy, al for a little book that tells you how are made. We gladly mailit free. Address REYMER & BROTHERS 450 Fort Street, Pittsbargb, Pa. Dealers: Write for particolars of oar Ageacy offer. Franklin Simon & Co Fifth Ave., 37th and 38th Sts., New York & New Spring Model Misses’ Russian Blouse Dress OF SILK CREPE DE CHINE In navy, black, white, peony, brick, cafe au lait, taupe, copenhagen or brown; collar and cuffs of em- broidered batiste, crushed silk belt in contrasting color, large novelty buckle and buttons; waist silk lined. Sizes 14 to 20 years. SAME MODEL OF EPONGE Of washable eponge, in white, copenhagen, rose, leather or golden amber, with crushed silk belt in contrasting color. SAME MODEL OF SERGE Of navy, black or white English serge, with crushed silk belt in contrasting color. 29.50 Value $39.50. 18.50 Value $24.50. 18.50 Value $24.50. Law in Florida It was in this city that Will Irwin made the study of mediums, table rap- pers and fortune tellers incorporated in “The Red Button.” <A_ perpetual booster for California’s*climate, he was one day holding forth upon the superi- ority of this State over Florida as a winter resort. jorida,” he said, “is too relaxing. This is due to the fetid air of the swamps. There is a story about a you man who was being examined for mission to the Florida bar. The exami- nation ran thus: “*Young man, are you malaria proof?’ “* Yes, sir.” Can you ride?’ wey. sir.’ Do you own a horse? “*Yes, sir.” he a good swamp swimmer?’ Yes, sir.’ “*Then, young man, I welcome you to the practise of law in this district.’” —San Francisco Wasp. M7 _ The Pertect Dress Tie | The tie with the button-or tabs Buy by the label “The Perfect DressTie’ TMade of the tinest rench fabrics: Sold in the best shops the world over JSOcents and better: Keys & Lockwood New York comicbooks.com