Life, 1913-02-13 · page 13 of 44
Life — February 13, 1913 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct pieces of humor: 1. **"Valentines for Sale"** — A poem by Christian Schofield offering metaphorical "valentines" (solutions) for life's problems, playing on commercial Valentine's Day sentiment. 2. **"Twa Scots"** — A brief satirical item comparing President Jordan of Stanford University and Andrew Carnegie, joking about their Scottish descent and physical resemblance to Queen Mary. 3. **"Here We Rest"** — The main piece satirizes Alabama's state motto by mocking the state's claims of aristocracy while exploiting child labor. A Birmingham lawyer requests this explanation, noting Alabama's contradiction: it prevents children from resting while claiming aristocratic status that requires leisure. The satire targets Alabama's hypocrisy regarding child welfare and social hierarchy. The lower illustration depicts a domestic scene with servants, supporting the aristocracy theme.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Valentines for Sale HO has Valentines for sale? That's the clamor, that’s the cry, Drifting down the winter gale; Many are there fain would buy. Guerdon for all aching hearts, Balm for every ill and ail, Cupid, master of love's arts, He has Valentines for sale! Clinton Scollard. Twa Scots P' ESIDENT JORDAN of Stan- ford University s: that An- drew Carnegie is descended from Mary, Queen of Scots. We see resemblances. Queen Mary was one of the best advertised persons since the world be- gan, And the Laird looks like her, too. Some! They have the same number of features. But where the Queen missed it was in not being a descendant of the Laird That might k-ve been worth while. “COME ON, MAMIE. COME AN’ WATCH Sf SPEND A PENNY” “Here We Rest W* have been requested by an un- constitutional lawyer living in 3irmingham to publish a few words of explanation on behalf of Alabama. Inscribed upon the Great Seal of this Great State is the legend, “ Here We Rest.” Our Birmingha friend de- clares that this is to be taken liter- ally for all Alabama except the chil- dren. It is conceded by all the best people of Alabama that children are entirely too young to rest. It is for them to toil, to support their parents. Alabama has reduced child labor to a perfect system. Furthermore, to make little children rest would be an unwarranted invasion of their consti- tutionally-guaranteed right to be pro- ductive: The motto, “Here We Rest,” is intended to refer principally of course to the aristocracy of Alabama and to the politicians. Everybody knows Fair Visiiurs WHY ARE YOU GIVING DOLO'S TEETH SUCH A THOROUGIL that one cannot be aristoc with- URUSHING? out resting a great deal, and Alabama ‘ond Mistress: OW! THE POOR DARLING'S JUST BITTEN SOME HORRID is nothing if not aristocratic. Honi PERSON AND, REALLY, YOU KNOW, ONE CAN'T BE TOO CAREFUL. soit qui Alabama. comicbooks.com