Life, 1913-02-13 · page 12 of 44
Life — February 13, 1913 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This satirical article attacks proposed legislation to ban kissing in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. The main cartoon shows a woman rejecting a man's advances with the caption "What the Inmates Are Doing" — suggesting hospital patients are conducting unauthorized romantic experiments. The accompanying poem mocks the kiss-ban proposal by defending kissing as an "ancient and consoling custom." It argues that kisses cannot be legislated away and celebrates them as natural human behavior. The smaller cartoons ("The Poet Loveate" and "The Flesh and the Devil") support the satire through humorous depictions of romantic entanglement. The piece ridicules what it views as government overreach into private intimate behavior, presenting the proposed ban as absurdly puritanical and unenforceable.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
What the Inmates Are Doing I" vas not many days ago that Dr. Tawtcher Pupps informed Dr. Solarmon Plexus that hereafter he should devote himself entirely to ex- periments on hospital patients. He agrees with Dr. Knery Pynchor and Dr. ankley Lovett that dogs and monkeys, while good in their way, are far less satisfying than the Real Thing. Dr. Gull Reedurs is preparing an article for a popular magazine on “The Value of Hospital Patients in the Propagation of New Diseases.” THE POET LOVEATE mL IESE. A Threatened Industry (It is announced from Milwaukee that a movement is on foot to intro- duce legislation to put a legal ban on kissing, with the object of killing out the practice.) H, Legislator; spare that kiss, That ancient and consoling custom, That post—and ante-nuptial bliss Which women—widow, wife or miss— Enjoy, although they may mistrust vem. They say no savage bosom glows To kisses in their pristine beauty; They are content to rub the nose Who live where the banana grows, Moved less Sentiment than Duty I scorn the fears of solemn chaps Who call a kiss a thing to hurt you, Who, offered a caress, collapse And cry, “A microbe lurks, perhaps, Within the very lips of Virtue.” As nearly a fortnight has clapsed since the discovery of a cure for can- cer, formal announcement will be made on Monday of a new serum discovered by Dr. Toxin Puffer, who was ably assisted by Dr, Bacillus Breeder and Microbius Bugg, M.D. Dr. Benton Slawter was much pleased last Thursday by the receipt, at the Halls of Agony, of twenty fine, healthy monkeys, furnished by John Rockefeller, the generous founder of this Enlightened Institution. Dr. Let- tam Rythe and Dr. Munkies Terra immediately began work on the new arrivals. Dr. Lovett O. Rather says the rage of a mother one day last week, when she found her child had been inocu- lated with tuberculosis, was one of the funniest things he had ever seen. Dr. Rather is devoted to Science. Dr. Agony Bent is trying some in- teresting experiments on a young fox terrier, After injecting as much tur- pentine and red pepper as the dog can stand, Dr. Bent holds lighted matches close to his nose. These experiments may result in an- other cure for infant paralysi No prophylactic this, you see,” For when Lucille or Amaryllis Allows me to perceive that she Would take a chaste salute from me, The argument’s effect just nil is. No substitute I will employ, No touching of our nasal tips, sir; Such imitations give no joy, Or, at their best, they quickly cloy; I sing my lady’s ruby lips, sir. Take courage, Youth, of every age, Short, tall, thin, stout, of each com- plexion; No law can filch from Love his wage, No counsel of a high-brow sage Ban the fair pledge of your affec- tion: Chester Cornish, Dr. Cuttaway Awhl and Dr. McEver Knyfe had a laughable experience re- cently. They removed 2 man’s stom- ach, thinking him a pauper patient. He turned out to be a wealthy man of some influer But Dr. Wordie Wyse explained it ‘satisfactorily to the gen- tleman’s family “THE FLESH AND THE DEVIL” comicbooks.com