Life — February 6, 1913 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

sf fates We are Constantly in Receipt of Important Letters Which are Too Long for Our Limited Space. Liferwocky "Twas martin, and the guiterman Did budd and broughton in the woold. All sullivant the clanahan, The gibson hutt outgoold. “Beware the foster fender, son, The eojones, the kerfoot flagg! Beware the masson bangs, and run Like Richards cushing nag!” He took his kilby blade in hand; Long time the vawter foe he sought. With cady struts through lowell lutz, He phillips there in thought. Leolyn, angusmac, and rude, He crosby down the galloway, To where the irvin metcalfe mooed From blashfield deep in hay. Carruth! Carruth! To tell the truth, He spacth the dillon thing in two, And threw the halves in burnham barnes That walker there in dew. “And can'st thou chase the calvert rowe— So young, my shaver, master son? Oh, miller say! Marcus the day!" He mitchelled fuller fun. ‘Twas martin, and the guiterman Did budd and broughton in the woold. All sullivant the clanahan, The gibson hutt outgoold. M. W. B. Boston, Mass., January 15, 1913. Not Our Fault To tne Eprrors or Lire: I note in your Anniversary Number that the department under drama you say, “The first duty of a journal is to its readers." This has seemed to be very much your policy in dramatic criti- cism, and I wish to thank you personally for thé help I have received as to the value of the different plays, I have never yet been disappointed in follow- ing your suggestions. Bue why do you ignore absolutely so good a play as “Milestones”? When I first thought of going to see this play I turned im- mediately to your columns to see what you said, but, behold! you said nothing, and to this extent I think you are neg- lecting to do your readers a great favor. You remind me somewhat of the inci- Brevity is Absolutely Essential to Publication dent of a traveler who arrived at a ench railway station to take the 8:35 train, The train approached and went by at full speed. The man turned to a bystander and asked him why this was, as it was scheduled to stop. “ Why,” he said, “don’t you know that the engineer and the station agent have had a quar- rel?” Very truly yours, James Asnorr. New Yor, January 3, 1913. The gentleman is quite right with re- gard to “Milestones.” His complaint, however, lies against the Court of Ap- peals of the State of New York, which has ruled that a theatre is not a public place and that its manager may exclude anyone, even though the person excluded may have purchased a ticket and be in no way an objectionable person. Messrs. Klaw and Erlanger, who control the the- atre where “ Milestones” is presented, have for several years exercised that right of exclusion against’ Lire. As Lire’s critic has not yet acquired the miraculous power of reviewing a play without having seen it, the piece has gone unnoticed in the columns of this jJournal.—Tne Epitors. Jones versus Jones Epitor or Lire: Str.—Pardon the bluntness of the ¢x- pression, but your article provokes the statement that it makes me tired. You criticise Mr. Loeb because, forsooth, he enforces the customs law, and, by the queerest reasoning that I have ever en- countered, assert that he is properly blameworthy for a system that was cre- ated before he was born. I have passed through the custom house at New York and have given up my keys to an in- spector who asked me a number of very direct questions concerning my pur- chases abroad. I believe that I am a decent person in the sense in which you use that term, but I did net feel insulted, nor were my feelings traduced. Nor was I subjected to disgraceful indigni- ties. My serenity may have been pro- duced by the fact that I was not at- tempting to smuggle anything. I have been subjected to examinations quite as severe by bankers from whom I have borrowed money, and by life and fire insurance agents whom I fondly thought I was patronizing. Yet I wrote no cards to the paper. The sccular press has enlightened us upon the subject of Loeb and in a most satisfying manner. It seems that he has compelled codfish society women and nouveaur riches per- sons to give over the exactions which the government demands, refusing to ac- cept their dishonest statements concern- ing the amount and price of dutiable goods. Out this way we pay the same tribute to the protected classes every hour of our existence in a patient way, Protesting only on election day, when we vote for Bryan or Wilson and some Democratic candidate for Congress. Do not denounce Locb. If you must. at- tack somebody let your gun be pointed Washingtonwards. It would be just as silly for us to assail you as an ass be cause you publish the cither underdonc or burnt-to-a-crisp Socialism of Ellis O. Jones as to hold the Collector responsi ble for earning an honest livelihood by enforcing the law. Farewell— J. Corusnus, Onto, january 18, 1913 Waitress: wiat’s yours, sir? Paterfamilias (wearily): ALL oF ’EM MINE. 70 FILL ’EM UP. comicbooks.com