Life — January 30, 1913 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘LIF E« Imaginary Letters EAR Little Falls, New York: My hat is off to you. I thought 1 knew how to handle a strike situa- tion with the maximum of brutality and disregard for law and human rights. I thought my authorities were about as callous and ruffianly a lot vas could possibly be gathered to- U gether in one small municipality, but, land sake’s alive, you put me way in the shade I wouldn't believe it at first, but when I read, in such re- liable papers as the Survey, of how you interfered with free speech and how your special policemen clubbed and jailed innocent individuals and denied them the ordinary legal rights, I just sat back and realized that my own brief moment of fame had already passed away. Of course I envy you. You know my leanings. Con- fidentially, however, I think it is a mistaken policy. It is all right to be on the side of the employers, but it isn’t wise to show it too openly. If I had to go through the same thing again, I should feel as bloodthirsty as ever toward the employees, but, for policy’s sake, I should act a bit more suavely. It is not for me, however, to be giv- ing advice to the likes of you. I must keep a respectful silence in the presence of one who is obviously my superior. Your obedient servant, Lawrence, MAssacuusetts Dear Se That new parcel post of yours is great. It is easily the best piece of work we ever saw. As you might guess, we were greatly worried about the matter, for we had no notion that-it was possible to devise a good parcel post. But you have done it. That zone system of yours is a wonderful scheme. It is the psychological thing at the psychological moment. How did you come to think of it? And the rates! Ah, the rates are all that we could ask for. You are a brave man, Senator, and you will be rewarded. We meant to write you sooner and thank you for this excellent work, but frankly we have been so busy. cele brating the victory that we neglected to do so. We hope, however, that you will forgive our remissness, and be assured that we appreciate keenly everything you have done. If we can be of service to you at any time, do not hesitate to command us. Yours affectionately, Tue Express Companies. TOR Bourn Dear # DMINISTRATION = Please accept our heartfelt thanks for your assistance in carrying forward our propaganda. Your prosecution of Mr. Debs is most timely. The close of the campaign found our comrades, although far from discouraged, yet somewhat weary and without any definite crisis to spur them on to an immediate continuance of the fight. Your indictment of Mr. Debs, however, gives us just what we are looking for and will serve as a splendid start on the 1916 campaign. You showed great judgment, moreover, in indicting him for contempt of court. We have spent a great deal of time and printed a good many pamphlets in an effort to show a certain contempt of courts, a con- tempt which arises from our belief that courts find it much easier to clap a labor agitator into jail than a trust plunderer. Your timely service will help us mightily in keeping this discussion alive. Had you opened the matter before election, we fear it would have fallen flat, but now, ah, now—well, we can’t find words fit enough to express our deep-seated gratitude. ours respectfully, Tue Soctatist Party. Mrs. Noowedde (weeping): you pon’t Love Mz ANY MOKE. YOU GAVE ALL THOSE BEAUTIFUL CIGARS I GAVE YOU CHRISTMAS TO THE JANITOR AND THE MALL BOY Noowedde: DON’T CRY, DARLING, THEY'LL. BACK SOON. NG THEM comicbooks.com