Life, 1913-01-23 · page 18 of 40
Life — January 23, 1913 — page 18: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This satirical column predicts mundane human behaviors and hypocrisies expected "to-morrow," mocking universal character flaws across social classes. The humor derives from Life's cynical observations: - **Political corruption**: A jobless Democratic politician will unsuccessfully seek favor from President-Elect Woodrow Wilson (referenced as "Wilson," suggesting this is from around 1912). - **Social hypocrisy**: A gentleman robbed by a waiter will tip anyway from embarrassment; respectable parents' pious daughter will secretly smoke and drink; a bishop will forget prayers. - **Gender stereotypes**: Women buying unaffordable gowns, accepting unworthy proposals, hiding purchases from husbands. - **Institutional compromise**: Publishers will print books they morally disapprove of solely for profit. The column satirizes how supposedly moral, respectable people consistently act against their stated values through weakness, vanity, or greed. The accompanying woodcut illustration appears unrelated—depicting Joshua commanding the sun, likely a design sample ("typographically speaking").
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
202 To-morrow's News LITTLE girl on upper Fifth Avenue will be impertinent to her mother, A New York police captain will re- ceive a call from a gambler. He will tell the gambler that there is “ nothing doing for the present,” but that “a lit- tle later on” everything will be O. K. A Democratic politician incapable of earning his own living, who has been out of office for sixteen years, will ap- ply to President-Elect Woodrow Wil- son for a job. He won't get it. Queen Mary will give King George a curtain lecture, ‘A clergyman who loves to hear him- self talk will bore an audience. In a fashionable New York restau- rant a gentleman who has ordered and eaten his dinner in the perfect con- sciousness that he is being robbed will proceed to tip the waiter more than he ought, and be secretly ashamed of himself. A man will propose to a girl on a bench in Central Park. She will ac- cept him regardless of the fact that he isn’t worth it. A certain gentleman will make a will, which somewhat later on is sure to disappoint all who think they are going to get the money. A handsome, charming, cultivated and perfectly delightful woman will buy a gown she cannot afford, and conceal the price from her husband. A young girl of sixteen, whose parents are pious and ultra respect- TYPOGRAPHICALLY SPEAKING WEDDING GOTITIC AND MINISTER OLD STYLE FROM LIFE'S COLLECTION OF OLD PRINTS JOSHUA COMMANDS THE SUN TO STAND STILL able people with irreproachable hal will drink a cocktail and smoke a cig- arette. President Taft will force a smile. The members of a publishing firm will conclude to publish a certain book of which they do not approve, and which they would not permit the children of their respective families to read, because in thgie combined judg- ment it will be a best seller. A noted bishop, honored and re- spected, and revered by all who know him, will go to bed and forget to say his prayers. John D. Rockefeller will add to his fortune many thousand dollars in in- terest. Apart To you! Are you true? Do you think of me Tho’ the long miles be Between? I thine! Are you mine Tho’ we're parted so My great love you know— Unseen? Oh, heart, Thus apart I could curse my will That you should be still My queen! Leolyn Louise Everett. comicbooks.com