Life — January 16, 1913 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

NY Efficient The train robber suddenly appeared as many of the passengers were preparing to retire for the night. “Come, shell out!” he demanded, as he stood towering above an Eastern clergyman, who had just finished a de- vout prayer. The minister looked at him sadly for a moment, then said “If T had such énergetic fellows as you to pass the plate now and then, I might have something to give you.” —Harper’s Magazine. A Matter of Relationship Two chance acquaintances from Ire- land were talking together. “An’ so yer name is Riley?” said one. “Are yez anny relation to Tim id the other. “Oi wus me mother's first child, an’ Tim was the twelfth.” Y —Ladies’ Home Journal. Eminent Vivisector: SUCH A DELIGHTFUL DREAM!” I DREAMED T HAD THE EDITOR OF ON THE OPERATING TABLE!” pablisied every Thursday. $5.00 a year Sn sar to Canada, $2 cents. imultaneously tn the United States, Great Britain, Canad: Additional postage to foreign countries in the Portal je current copies 10 cents, Back mumoert, atier three mo! of to 1910 out of print. rauwiope, LIRR does met bald ttueif The Optimist Said a cheerful old bear at the Zoo: “T never have time to feel blue. If it bores me, you know, To walk to and fro, I reverse it and walk fro and to.” —Century. Geo. Ade’s Quarters George Ade was showing a reporter over his apartment at the Chicago Ath- etic Club. “Wonderful! Superb!” Such were the reporter's ejaculations before Mr. Ade's rugs and pic At the end of the inspection, in an- swer to an enthusiastic compliment on . Ade said with a laugh rried men have better halves, but we bachelors have better quarters, eh?” —Washington Star. PURE WHISKY Is pure with the essential purity of Nature's finest products — distilled d and bottled to maintain the natural perfection un changed A DICKEL & CO Conservation of Energy | “Yes,” said the old man, “1 find my i strength is failing somewhat. I used ] to walk around the block every morn- a . ing, but lately I feel so tired when I get | ee See half way round I have to turn and come back.” : —Woman's Home Companion ] ] Zan = ee | Lire ts for sale by all Newsicalers in Ceeat Rrtain and may be obtained from bookseller in ] cities of the world.” The foreign trade supplied from Lari" London Ofice, Caanon Mouse, Uteawe Butlaises sea. LC. The tart and Wluatratiens (n LAPG ave capsrighted. For Reprint Rights im Groat Britale apely ty Lave, 114 Seathampien Reve, Lancer, H.C Pramps wetifcasion should be wat br mabuciber of anp change of adder LIFE'S Special Offer 7 Cove. Tite Pub. Co. 4 4 “Bygones” (By Angus MacDonall) & This Picture Free with Each Yearly Subscription A reproduction of this picture, 9} by 15 inches in size, on paper 15 by 20, will be sent on each yearly subscription entered this season. A subscriotion to LIFE is the best possible gift—a copy of LIFE every week. fifty-two presents a year, and this picture for Five Dollars, the regular subscription price.*. LIFE PUBLISHING COMPANY 17 West 31st Street, New York Canadian, $5.52 Foreign, $6.04 *Subscription, $5.00 comicbooks.com El by 8 | pe re, | eto