Life, 1913-01-09 · page 44 of 100
Life — January 9, 1913 — page 44: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page satirizes early 20th-century trends through multiple pieces: **"Omer"** parodies Rudyard Kipling's style, contrasting Homer's ancient storytelling with modern entertainment economics. The joke: if Homer owned a "nickel show" (cheap motion picture theater) today, he'd be wealthy rather than impoverished—mocking how commercial entertainment has replaced classical literature. **"Why Not Wait?"** criticizes the "eugenic baby" craze, where Mr. and Mrs. George Herrick scientifically engineered their infant according to eugenics principles. The satire targets the publicity stunt aspect: the baby's reputation (created through advertising) may matter more than actual merit. The underlying critique questions whether such experiments prove anything meaningful, since you can't judge a person until death. **"A True Optimist"** presents Mrs. Grundy (a stock character representing conventional morality) expressing gratitude to Providence despite rheumatism—she's grateful she still has a back to suffer with. This gentle humor celebrates working-class resilience and ironic optimism.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
"Omer With Apologies to Rudyard K. HEN 'Omer smote ‘is bloomin’ lyre An’ 'card men sing by land and sea, No five cent shows did ’e require To spin ‘is yarns, like you and me. No seven burgs ‘ud spend their tin To prove ’e first saw light o” day Inside their walls, if ‘Omer'd been Announcer in a picture play. But if ’e owned a nickel show To-day, it's safe to say this much, Old ‘Omer wouldn't ‘ave to go Around a-beggin’, on a crutch. “jJoun! on! Jou SOMEWHER WHERE ARE you?" “poNn’T KNOW, MARIA, I'M SCATTERED ABOUT HERE M “1913 AND ALL’S WELL” Why Not Wait ? DP Providence they are raising a “eugenic baby four months old, and is the modest and ui scious son of Mr. and Mrs. George Herrick. This young gentleman's parents have produced him according to the latest recipe for b. a combination of scientific pre- natalism and systematic business methods. It is needless to say that all the physicians in town are keenly interested. The fond mother keeps a chart of the child's progress, and bulletins are posted daily showing his progress. There is only one difficulty in the way, and that is that we shall all have to wait too long for the results, It fre- quently happens that you cannot tell what a man really is until he is dead. This baby, therefore, will be subject to the inevitable human gambling chance. Eugenically in- clined, he might go up the first pair of stairs which leads up to the Hall of Fame without missing a step. Then he might be struck by lightning, and the world would never know how bad he might have been had he lived to a later 1f-con- The only thing that this experiment really determines is the power of advertising. If this baby is sufficiently ad- vertised and becomes known as the “eugenic baby,” he may achieve such an infantile reputation that he will be obliged to live up to it, as a matter of pride—and fool everybody about the fool experiments that his parents are making. Who knows? A True Optimist ICAR: Amid all your troubles, Mrs. Grundy, I am pleased to see that your gratitude to Providence does not fail. . Grunpy: No, sir; rheumatiz is bad, indeed, but I thank ‘eaven I still ‘ave a back to ‘ave it in. comicbooks.com L