Life, 1912-12-19 · page 14 of 40
Life — December 19, 1912 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two unrelated humor pieces from *Life* magazine. **"It Made a Difference"** (left): A dialogue joke about a man named Binks who allegedly beat someone out of money in a poker game. The humor relies on a misunderstanding—the speaker thought Binks beat the victim with physical violence ("thrash him"), not at cards. The joke plays on the ambiguity of "beat." **"The Same Song, With Different Words and Music"** (right): A satirical story about a surgeon who alters a borrowed dog (Fido) so extensively—swapping body parts with other dogs—that it's technically a different animal. The boy owner notices nothing, leading to the surgeon's ironic conclusion: "it may be the same dog, but taint Fido." This mocks over-confident medical/scientific manipulation and the philosophical question of identity. Both pieces are straightforward humor pieces rather than political satire.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
2490 ing the days they all go shopping. Can you give me a hint? I'll give you twenty per cent. commission. Can it be done by waving colors? With a little practise I expect to be able to change my wife's personality at will. I begin to feel like a psychic Brigham Young. Think of what this means! But I must stop. Here comes Maud! I fly! Yours gratefuly, Don't wait! Remember that the various personalities of the woman you love are all important. Why not place them on file. Concentrate on the first glittering thing you see, and follow this up by a personal call. Life's Vibration Parlers. It Made a Difference ‘T I ever get hold of Binks I'll thrash him so that his mother wouldn't recognize him.” “What's the matter?” “He's been slandering me. He out of five dollars in a poker game.” “Not at all. [ heard the remark myself.” “What did he say?” “He said that you beat him out of five thousand dol- lars in a wheat deal.” “Oh, well, then, I suppose it is all right. I hardly thought he was the kind of man to go around telling stories that reflected on my character.” that I beat him There lived in far Beloochistan a very crafty leopard. Who often dined upon the sheep of Ali Khan, the sheopard, But serving dinners on the side put Ali's job in jeopard, And so this leopard’s tawny hide, with B. B. shot was peopard. “LSIAEAE “WHAT pip t HIT?” “NORTH AMERICA.” “The Same Song, With Different Words and Music” ERE is the dog Fido that you so kindly loaned me a month ago, little boy,” said the great surgeon to the small street urchin. The lad took one look at the abject creature standing between the surgeon’s legs and burst into tear: “Taint Fido ’t all,” he wailed. “TI assure you it is Fido,” insisted the great surgeon “'Taint Fido's legs,” sobbed the boy. “Oh as for that—we've altered him in places, of course. The legs, as you say, have been changed. I took them off one evening before dinner and grafted others in their place. My technique was so perfect that it is almost im- possible to detect the scar. Paralysis was the only result —a beautiful operation. “Taint Fido's tail, neither,” whimpered the boy. “True, the tail was also changed. I swopped with a bulldog that unfortunately died before I meant him to and quite spoiled his half of the experiment.” “*Taint Fido’s outsides.” “The skin is new, I admit. dachshund.” “He don’t know me. I bet taint Fido’s insides neithe “We-ell, perhaps not. The heart, liver, lungs and in- testines have all been removed and the corresponding organs of other dogs substituted. The right ear and one- half the skull are also those of a brother canine, Outside of these minor details it is the same dog.” The boy shook his head and turned away. “Tt may be the same dog,” he said, sadly, “but ’taint Fido.” I interchanged with a RIGGS: Is Calker a Democrat? Griccs: I think not. I haven't heard his name men- tioned for the cabinet. comicbook Meum