Life, 1912-12-12 · page 42 of 48
Life — December 12, 1912 — page 42: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is primarily an **advertising page** with one brief satirical piece embedded. The main content consists of Christmas skating advertisements (Barney & Berry skates) and whiskey promotions (Gold Armor Whiskey). The satire appears in the **"Philanthropy" section**—a mock dialogue between Baron Gousselard and a neighbor at a Parisian restaurant. The joke exposes hypocritical charitable reasoning: the Baron justifies indulgent spending (expensive shrimp, fine wine) as *helping* poor fisherwomen and wine-growers, when he's actually just enjoying luxury. His self-serving logic—spending money on expensive goods "relieves misfortune"—parodies the privileged classes' self-congratulatory rationalization of their consumption. The brief "So Long, Mary" filler joke depicts a boy prioritizing a girlfriend over academic advancement, implying romantic distraction trumps ambition. The page is typical early-20th-century *Life* content: advertising mixed with mild social satire targeting upper-class pretension.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
gal bad ll sil LET’S GO SKATING BUY EARLY Your Christmas Skates AND GET THE CHOICE DESIGNS For more than half a century BARNEY & BERRY skates have been the acknowledged stand- ard by which all skates are judged. They are used by champion skaters and by amateurs who want the best. In point of design, strength, workmanship and finish, BARNEY & E RY skates have no equal in the world, They are known and used in “every land where water freezes."" Most dealers sell BARNEY & BERRY skates, but if your local dealer cannot supply you, send to | - contains hockey rules, us for catalog, which also, hoc! t ions for building an ice skating program and di rink. BARNEY & BERRY 149 Broad Street, Springfield, Mass. QUALITY MADE THE NAME FAMOUS “So Long, Mary”: A teacher in one of the primary grades of the public school had noticed a striking platonic friendship that ex- isted between Tommy and little Mary, two of her pupils. Tommy was a bright enough young: ster, but he wasn’t disposed to prosecute his studics with much energy, and his teacher said that unless he stirred him- self before the end of the year he wouldn't be promoted. “You must study harder,” she told him, “or you won't pass. How would you like to stay back in this class an- other year and have little Mary go ahead of you? “Aw,” said Tommy, be other little Marys.” —Weekly Telegraph. “T guess there'll Philanthropy I can still see Baron Gousselard seated at the corner table at the Maison Doré In the corner the diner enjoyed a breath of air when the door opened, also avoided being jostled by the waite! The baron is forty years old; he is beginning to get a little stout. His tufted whiskers, dyed by a skillful barber, give satisfaction to his plain and vulgar features. He finished a portion of red shrimps and asked for a second dish. A Neicunor (related to the baron): 1 sec, my dear Gousselard, that you are fond of shrimps. Tue Baxox: That which guides me in all the actions of my life is the de- sire to relieve misfortune. I have an income of 200,000 francs, and I devote it to the welfare of the disinhcrited of the earth, Four francs a dozen for shrimps is a little dear, but I think of the unfortunate fisherwomen in the water up to their hips, winter as well as summer. Almost all of them are bur- dened with families, What would be- come of them if work was not assured to them by generous consumers? Tue Netcunor: You are right! It is one’s duty to sacrifice one’s self. Tue Waiter: What wine will mon- baron take? Baxox: Tour-Blanche with the an expression of sieur le Neicunoe Twenty a bottle? tz Bawox: The wine growers have been so troubled with phylloxcra. It is our duty to go to their aid. All the world drinks vin ordinaire, They can get rid of that very casily. That is why (smiling) : When you want a whiskey that is a little bet- ter than you can get at your club, I have it for you. | V. O. S. GOLD ARMOR WHISKEY A blend of straight Bourbons, one selected for its aroma, another for its body and a third for its flavor, and all taken from my own family’s collec- tion of rare old Bou harmonized as to produce that exquisite bouquet, the eternal quest | of the connoisseur. Undoubtedly an ideal in | whiskey, but if you don't find it so you can have your money returned, or use your business stationery. Express prepaid. RANDOLPH ROSE, Exclusively fine old whiskies. York Street, Newport, Kentucky. 2470 Sold only by mail, 4 quarts $6. Send check | | priced Department 62 brilliancy, for banquets. <= HEISE Hostess” will prove ‘especia helpful to you at-this season 4 the year. Write for a cop A. H. Heisey & Co. Newar}y Satz I take pity on the growers of the choicer vintages. Tue Warter: And after the turbot? Tue Baxon: Truffled partridge. A partridge which was not shot. The lead shot ruins game; the wounded part sometimes has a little odor. And then we ought to help along the poor poachers, who have not the means to pay for a hunting permit. These fine fellows live in cabins and huts, and since they spend their nights in searching for game, it is only just to have consideration for such hard workers. Tue Netcinor: have, baron! Tue Baron: That is my nature. To leave nothing to chance, to make the What a heart you comicbooks grace and will add to the attract. It is good Low ugh for everyday use -com