Life, 1912-11-07 · page 5 of 60
Life — November 7, 1912 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertising and fiction**, not political satire. The dominant content is a large advertisement for the "Santa Fe de Luxe" train, promoting first-class travel between Chicago and Los Angeles with dining car service and Grand Canyon visits. Below that is prose fiction: "The Torturin' of the Oysters" (a humorous dialogue between a doctor and head waiter about oysters' suffering when salt is applied) and advertisement for "The Lady and Sada San," a serialized story by Frances Little published by The Century Co. The oyster piece uses absurdist humor—anthropomorphizing shellfish discussing their own demise—but this is literary comedy, not political commentary. The page represents early 20th-century *Life* magazine's mix of entertainment, advertising, and light humor rather than pointed social or political satire.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
on ie too “Mum’’ keeps the body free from odor} fombathtobath. A mild, odor- less cream—does not affect the! skin nor stain the clothing. ‘25e et drug- and department-stores. If your dealer hasn't Fifom.” eend us his name and 25 cents and we willscad yous Jar postpaid. Mum Mfg Co 1106 Chestnut St Philadelphia Pa The Torturin’ of the Oysters (With apologies to Rudyard Kipling.) Dr. Wiley says that when salt is put on oysters they sufler excruciating pain, “What makes that oyster look so sad? the grave Head Waiter said, “A touch o salt, a touch o’ s: old Doctor Wiley said. “They are torturin’ the bivalves, they are saltin’ of ‘em down, They are givin’ ’em tabasco fit ‘0 make the divils drown, An’ they'll dic in ‘arf a minute in an agony profoun’ ; Oh, they're torturin’ the oysters most alarmin’.”” “L've served ‘em ‘ot, I've served ‘em cold,” the grave Head Waiter said, “They suffer cither hot or cold,” old Doctor Wiley said. “L've poured the cocktail sauce on ’em,” the grave Heac Waiter said. “You should have been arrested then,” old Doctor Wiley said. “They are saltin’ down the bivalves; you can hear the critters moan, A Sequel to “The Lady of the Decoration” The Lady and Sada San By Frances Little What happened to “The Lady" and Jack Yer, and their share in the romance of Sad: Fe —“one half American dash and the oth lf the unnamable witchery of a Japanc woman.” Frontispiece in color Price $1.00 net, postage 6 cents THE CENTURY CO. } “Americas Anest train” = es M20 ideal service” — you may visit ie Grand Caz Sse al beg wisherlse ifornia where iat sunny sl es. 1062 Railway Exchange e California )im: ‘ “ Exchisively for first class travel=The year ‘round WS ee ‘Tis an agony of torture that will make an oyster groan. ’ to start a g ‘ave to act alone. Oh, they're torturin’ the bivalves most alarmin’.” reform if 1 “ What's that a leanin’ on the bar?” the grave Head Waiter said. “It's one of them S. P. C. A." old Doc- tor Wiley said “What's that that whimpers over ead?” the grave Head Waiter said. 2125 W.J. Black Pass Tratfie bec Ue, ange, Chic old Doctor Wiley. s “And they're formin’ in procession ; you can hear the Dead March play. The officers are comin’ an’ you'd better skip away, The coppers are in column and we'd better say good day, Or they'll put us in the cooler for a longish sort of stay, After torturin’ the oysters in’ Saxnoes Gove Texsxey, New York Sun, all the even- comicbooks.com