Life — October 24, 1912 — page 39: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Cautionary Verses to Youth of Both Sexes My little dears, who learn to read, pray. early learn to shun That very silly thing, indeed, which peo ple call a pun: Read Entick’s rules, and ‘twill be found how simple an offense It is, to make the self-same sound afford a double sense. ale may make you ail, fF aunt an ant may kill, ale may buy a veil and Bill ay pay the bill Or if to France your bark you steer, at Dover, it may be, A peer appears upon the pier, who, blind, still goes to sea. Thus one might say, when to a treat, good friends accept our grecting, ‘Tis meet that men who meet to eat should cat their meat when meet- ing. Braun on the board's no bore, indeed. although from boar prepared; Nor can the fowl, on which we feed, foul feeding be declared. Thus one ripe fruit may be a pear, and yet be pared again, And still be one, which scemeth rare, until we do explain. It therefore should he all your aim to speak with ample care: For who, however fond of game, would choose to swallow hair? A fat man’s gait may make us sm) who has no gate to clo: The farmer sitting on his style no stylish person knows Perfumers men of scents must be; some Scilly men are bright: A brown man oft deep read we see, a black a wicked sight, Most wealthy men good manors have, however vulgar they ; And actors still the harder slave, the oftencr they pla [YOUR LANGUAGE TELLS WHAT YOU ARE _ Grenville Kleiser (former Yale Instructor) is diving a wider scope in life to hundreds of earnest en and women through his ‘wholly different” Mail Course in Practical English and Mental Efficiency. ENLARGE YOUR STOCK OF WORDS. Learn touse the right word inthe right place. Alimited Yocabulary means limited thought, limited power and authority. Grenville Kleiser will give you a supreme command of words. WRITE LETTERS, ADVERTISEMENTS AND STORIES THAT MOVE MEN TO ‘‘DO THINGS.”” The Kleiser Course will give you the fundamentals that lead to success in any style of literature. It teaches the kind of English ‘expression that awakens attention and compels action. INCREASE YOUR INCOME OR BUSINESS. . There is scarcely any strongerimpetus towards promo- tion and individual progress in business than the ability to express yourself is immatical English. The Kleiser Course will i re successful man by giving you this power, BE A MAN OF CULTURE AND POWER. Good English is the “*hall-mark" ofa gentleman. It eaables you to enter good society and to {eel at ease in the com- Pagy of cultured people. | The Kleiser Course in Practical Eng: ish will awaken latent powers and ambitions. Not only will t Give you a command of language, but it will develop personal Bagectiem, powers of concentration, will power, and build up a | Prrtonality which will command recognition and advancement. t requires spare time only, and is free from involved rules. Write to-day on a post-card for fll information and free Booklet “How to Bezome a Master of English.” FUNK & WAGNALLS COMPANY, Dept. 567 New York While grooms and coachmen, not in vain, The dyer who, by dyeing lives, a dire tife The glazier, it is known, reccives—his Ry gardeners thyme is tied, ‘tis truc Put time or tide won't wait for you, if Then now you see, my little dears, the Combination sat Stick Gillette —Consists of Triple Shaving Soap in Silver Plated Razor; 12 double- Triple Silver Plated Holder; two Metal Blade Boxes; Seal Grain Leather Case. $6. 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Gillette Safety Razor For sale in forty thousand retail stores in every part of the habitable globe No Stropping No Honing KNOWN THE, "WORLD OVER GILLETTE SAFETY RAZOR COMPANY 22 West Second Street, BOSTON So pocts can’t the Leize obtain, unless The fault admits of no defense: for wheresoe’er ‘tis found You sacrifice the sound for sense: the sense is never sound. their tailors choose ; each evening seek the Mews. So let your words and actions, too, one ntains Single meaning prove. And, just in all you say or do. you'll gain profits from his panes esteem and love In mirth and play no harm you'll know, when spring is in its prime; when duty’s taste is done But parents ne'er should let yor punish’ for a pun! Theodore Hook. “A Humorous Anthology.” Reprinted the courtesy of Brentano's, publishers of you are tied for time. way to make a pun; trick which you, through coming years, should sedulously shun. 2067 comicbooks.com