Life — September 19, 1912 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Memories have alread) refer to some one as a liar. anybody’s interest. will not be recorded in the papers. will sue her husband for divorce. cisco and other large cities strangers to them. left there by the neighbors. fill his place with some one else. playing cards. NCE when my days were bright as fairy gold, I laid my laughter carefully a In old rose-jars of happy memories, That I might have it on some dreary day. ay, And afterward, when life had bitter grown And I was looking forth on sombre years, I opened my rose-jars and, lo, there lay No laughter, but regret and bitter tears. cLeolyn Louise E To-morrow’s News (Note—Mosi tapers confine themselves to events which occurred. In presenting our readers % authentic news of to-morrow, we hope to show how much more advanced we are than our contemporaries. tively guarantee that all these things will happen.) iS AL murders will be committed in New York. The motives will be love, jealousy and cupidity. police will just miss getting the murderers. Mr. Roosevelt will make a speech in which he will Mr. Taft will state that nobody is more anxious than he to have the tariff lowered, provided it doesn’t affect Two hospital surgeons detailed on ambulance duty will pick up a man who has heart disease and, diagnosing his case as plain drunk, throw him into the psychopathic ward. Later on the man will die, but the manner of his death A gentleman will have a quarrel with his wife. A gentleman will sue his wife for divorce. For full particulars see detailed accounts of previous divorce cases. In New York, Boston, Chicago, Philadelphia, San Fran- several beautiful girls will be kissed by gentlemen who have hitherto been perfect A baby will be born into a family where the father has been out of work for some months, the mother is ill nourished, and there is no food in the house except what is A brakeman engaged in coupling cars will be killed. His family will be notified, and the railroad company will A certain gentleman will die and leave a fortune, and those who expect to get it will be dumfounded to learn that he has left the greater part of it to some one else. ick man in a hospital will be almost dying of thirst, while across the hall a party of nurses and doctors are A gentleman of between seventy and cighty years of BULL-FROGS age will propose to a lady between sixteen and twenty-four, and will be accepted. The New York IWorld will publish two editorials, one about Colonel Roosevelt and one about Woodrow Wilson. A gentleman will lose his money in Wall Street. A perfectly healthy boy will shirk his lessons and sneak off with wicked companions and play baseball. An American custom house official will insult a woman, under instructions from the government Several hotels in New York will furnish poor food at exorbitant prices. A little girl who was vaccinated several days ago will develop symptoms of blood poisoning A very nice man, together with members of his im- mediate family, will be thrown out of his automobile. Those who are not killed will be severely injured. “ BUNTHORNE" WILSON If you're asking your selection For the coming Fall And have not made up your mind. Don’t you think it would be prudent Their literary style If you settled on a student Is, sufficient to beguile Of this transcendental kind? But, be that as it may, admit it when i say t this cultivated man, with his educated plan To illuminate his followers way Is easily the most progressive postulant for President Since simple Thomas Jefferson's day. comicbooiee : In their spirit and their letter, Election There is nothing that is better Than the histories he wrote— The great Unlettered Vote—