ComicBooks.com Register / Loginit's free!

Life, 1912-09-05 · page 38 of 44

Life — September 5, 1912 — page 38: what you’re looking at

📖 Open the full issue in the page-flip reader →
Life — September 5, 1912 — page 38: Life, 1912-09-05

What you’re looking at

This page blends advertisements with satirical editorial content. The main political piece, "The Government Must Go," argues that government has become obsolete now that capitalists have distributed all valuable resources—land, minerals, water rights, patents, subsidies—among "the best people" for 999-year renewable leases. The author sarcastically suggests the government should be pensioned off or retired on half-pay since its work of resource distribution is complete, and further interference would be "paternalistic." The satire targets laissez-faire ideology and wealthy industrialists' desire to eliminate government regulation. It mocks the notion that capitalism is self-sufficient once initial distribution occurs. The page also contains lighter satirical content: "Diplomacy in Embryo," a brief joke about a child damaging her father's shaving mug then claiming he never owned one. The remaining content consists of period advertisements for Pebeco tooth paste, Paris garters, and Cook's champagne—typical of Life's revenue model.

📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ai) by] FB # @ Only One-third the Usual <- Amount Pebeco Tooth Paste proves its efficiency by its econo- my. It is so perfected for the purpose that a very little overcomes the acidity cf the mouth—the cause, dentists de- clare, of 959% of tooth decay. PEBECO TOOTH PASTE Pebeco not only counteracts the enamel-de- stroying mouth-acids themselves, but also de- stroys the germs that produce these acids. Thus it gives you double protection against tooth- decay, as well as being a perfect cleanser and deodorant, whitening the tceth, and insuring a sweet, clean mouth and breath. Send ere, a FREE 10-Day Trial Tube and Acid-Test Papers Febeco Tooth Paste is a scientific product of the laboratories of P. Beiersdor' burg. Germany, Ask your dru; large SOcent tube. The extra Ia small amount of paste needed ma the most economical dentifrice you can buy. LEHN & FINK Producers off Lehn & Tink's Riveris Taleum 108 William ft. Lehn & Fink, 108 Wiliam St., New York Gentlemen: —Please vend me Trial Tede of Pebrco Tooth Pane, also Acid Test Papera (Write your name and address fully aod plaialy) Street... Diplemacy in Embzyo The little maid gazed thoughtfully at her- father. “ Papa,” she said, “do you know what I'm going to give you for your birthday ? “No, dear,” he answered. “Tell me.” “A nice new china shaving-mug, with yold flowers all around,” said the little d But, my dear,” explained her mother, has a nice one, just like that, al- ready. . “No, he hasn't,” the little daughter answered thoughtfully, “'cos—'cos—I've just dropped it!"—Newark Star. The Government Must Go The truth of the matter is simply this: We no longer have any need for the nment. We are not finding fault. from it. It has been a good govern- ment and we shall hate to part with it, but it has outlived its usefulness. It has graduated. The time has come for the valedictory. We can say, “Well done, good and faithful servant, and here is your honorable dischar; When our country was youthful and undeveloped, and undivided, a govern ment was indispensable. It was the gov crnment’s duty to take it and distribute it, to settle it, to liquidate it, much as a referce in bankruptcy decides who is to get what assets the lawyers leave. This has now been done. All the landown have been picked out. All the m forests, waterfalls, riparian rights, r of way, patents, subsidies, etc., have been apportioned and distributed among the best people, and best not only of this age, but of all ages, The future, as well as the present, furthermore, has been pro- vided for. Laws have been passed by which all these valuable things may be held for nine hundred and ninety-nine years, renewable forever. Henceforward the fight is exclusive among individuals. The government must not interfere. It cannot interfere without becoming pa- ternalistic, without disturbing the busi- ness structure which it has so carefully builded. And yet we do not like to be harsh or ungrateful. Perhaps a compromise could be effected. Perhaps we could pension the government or retire it on half pay. Or we might contrive something which No metal can touch you You know the objection to having metal touch you; some- times makes a sore spot. We originated the ‘‘No metal can touch you’”’ idea; there are several imitations, but only one PARIS GARTER You want the best. Ask your dealer which is best; if he doesn’t know, tell him. Price 25 and 50 cents A. Stein & Co., Makers, Chicago 1738 Quality determines the buying choice of connoisseurs — they consider price only in so far as it may buy super- iorit —they uniteon Cook’s. Be coldly criti- cal of fecsats Thame Dry Champa TUS As you drink it, compare it with all the other cham- pagnes you ever liked— point for point—purity, life, bouquet, flavor; and you will decide in favor of Cook’s, irrespective of price. And remem- ber, thisdifferencein price is due only to duty (60%) and occan freight (40f) —Cook’s cost goes into quality. 25 will look like a government and which we can show to visitors, but which at the same time would not affect the stock market or otherwise enter into the con- sideration of speculative investments. But as for a real government, a gov- ernment with powers plenipotentiary to revise, regulate, investigate, meddle, muddl grow fat, we must write finis. From this very moment we keep such a government at our peril. None of us knows what to do, whether to strike for a raise in salary or not. Business is ata standstill and must remain so as long as we have such an uncertain thing as a government hanging around. E.O. J. comicbookMeea