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Life, 1912-08-29 · page 20 of 42

Life — August 29, 1912 — page 20: what you’re looking at

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Life — August 29, 1912 — page 20: Life, 1912-08-29

What you’re looking at

This page combines two satirical features. The top cartoon depicts six "millionaires and how they got it," each labeled with their dubious path to wealth: "INHERITED," "MARRIED," "STOLE IT," "WON IT," "FOUND IT," and "MADE IT." This is social satire mocking how the wealthy accumulate fortunes through morally questionable means rather than honest work. Below is "Life's Confidential Guide to Prominent People"—brief, mocking biographical sketches of contemporary figures including Senator William Lorimer (characterized as repeatedly "vindicated" despite scandal), English philosopher Balfour, and various politicians and publishers. The tone is consistently irreverent, using backhanded compliments and ironic observations about their actual accomplishments. The "Palpitation of the Heart" section critiques Dr. Alexis Carrel's medical experiments keeping heart tissue alive in jars—dismissing the research as pointless when doctors cannot even teach people how to live healthily. The cartoon caption "Woman, you are driving me to drink" provides dark humor. Overall, the page attacks institutional corruption, pretentiousness, and misplaced scientific priorities.

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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

( MILLIONAIRES AND HOW THEY Got 1T Life’s Confidential Guide to Prominent People LORIMER, WILLIAM.—Permanent Senator from iinois. "This gentleman bas the unique distinction of having been vindi- cated more times than any other man in Americas It fs expected that he will con: tinue to be vindicated every year as long as he lives. Began his life as a newsboy and gradually worked his way down to his present position. ANTIN, MARY.—A young Russian woman ‘of the kind known as a “ prodigy.” who has written a book about her education en- titled “The Promised Land.” She will be a subject of conversation for at least six months. We hope she will make the most of it. BALFOUR, A. J.—An English philosopher, litera: man, orator and sportsman, who has, incidentally, amused himself for sev- eral years by running the English Empire. He started out as a cynic and has appar- ently ended as a sentimentalist. Re sents the other extreme from Lloyd George. OROZCO, COLONEL | PASCUAL.—This gentleman is one of the most interesting figures in Mexican history. He has recent- ly been trying to take President Madero's place by leading his army up to Madero’s and annoying that gentleman as much as possible. Unfortunately, President Madero refused to be annoyed, and Colonel Orozco is now making preparations to join that ast army of the vanquished, whose names enliven the pages of the past. WATTERSON, COLONEL proprietor of the Louisville Courier Jour- nal, always a Presidential possibility, and one-time (tiend of Woodrow Wilson. "While Colonel Watterson has been mentioned for the Presidency on numerous occasions, he still prefers to be better known as’ an editor. REID, WHITELAW.—Proprictor of the New York Tribune, Minister to England, and reliable friend'to any and every Re- ican administration. WHITLOCK, BRAND.—Mayor of Toledo, who has recently announced that he will not re-enter politics, as he needs all, his ne to write stories.” Is full of good ideas, has no equal as a popular magazine Preacher. LAWSON, THOMAS.—A mine owner, and writer of fiction for the advertising col umns of the daily papers, Is well known in Wall Street: sometimes referred to as the Bad Man from the Back Bay. Palpitation of the Heart MONG the wonderful experi- ments made at the Rockefeller Institute for Medical Research, Dr. Alexis Carrel, Director of the Insti- tute, announces that he was able to keep pieces of the heart tissue pulsat- ing rhythmically outside the organism from which they were taken for more than two months. “The fragments were preserved in glass jars in suit- able media, The experiments are part of a series to determine whether or not the life tissues can be prolonged indefinitely outside of the body. In this connec- tion Dr. Carrel expreses this opinion: “It is conceivable that the length of life of a tissue outside of the organ- ism could exceed greatly its normal duration in the body because elemental death might be postponed indefinitely by a proper artificial nutrition.” But, we might well ask, of what earthly use? It seems to the present writer that this and a multiplicity of similar useless experiments carried on by these super-scientific gentlemen so monopolize their attention that they have no time or energies to study and teach the means of keeping the whole heart pulsating in the animal body! In other words, their time is being ted, if not worse than wasted, while the people, including the doctors themselves, die prematurely from want of knowing how to live. “ WoMAn, YOU ARE DRIVING DRINK” . comicbootines ut