Life — August 29, 1912 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ee is * Swami Baa Baa Beloved of All He Shows You How to Be Princess of Your Own Soul—Life's Vibration Parlors Open Day and Night IFE’S Vibration Parlors are now crowded day and night with dis- ciples of the new Baa Baa cult. Swami Baa Baa has won the hearts of the American people. Remember, that all power is yours for the asking. If you prefer to wear the regular costume, first take your preliminary examination in order to ascertain the tattvic plane you are on. The color of your costume depends upon this plane. The first tattvic plane requires a suit of sea-green pajamas, with yellow tunic and snake-skin sandals. The second tattvic plane has in it a little more yellow, and so on upward. Remember, that after you have taken lessons from Swami Baa Baa it is only a question of time when you can tell what is going on in the minds of others. This very convenient art can only be used by those who have indulged in rhythmic breathing and have proved themselves competent. Swami Baa Baa recommends the following morning exercises: First—Fix thoughts on the tip of the nose and breathe through the left nostril for ten minutes while robed in a yellow silk toga, which has been previously meditated upon by Swami Baa Baa (at a moderate cost). Second.—Repeat the syllable Om four hundred times, with left hand on door knob and smelling vigorously, at the same time willing that all powers shall be yours. Third.—Meditate on astral body and subliminal self. At first they will not be visualized, but after four mornings you will be able to sce them distinctly. This is the first stage of astral obe- dience. In six months’ time you will have them both dogging your foot- steps day and night; but do not fear, as long as you are in rhythmic har- mony with the universal vibrations nothing can tough you. Fourth.—Pin dollar bill on the ceil- ing; lie flat on your back and medi- tate for twenty minutes. This brings fortune, and will enable you to specu- late in Wall Street with marked suc- cess. The following letter has just been received : “Most Exattep Baa Baa: My rhythmic soul floats out through the eternal cther and Prostrates itself before your sub- lime intelligence. As soon as I get in tune with your vibration parlors I can buy two hundred dollar gowns every week, and my husband smiles grandly every time the bill is pre- sented. But this is not all. I now lead in my own circle of society and do it by common consent. I have willed them all to be obedi- ent to the syllable Om, which is Me. Om forever! I find that a fine rhythmic exer- cise is to walk in bare feet in the back yard at four o'clock every morning. The tattvic impulses are wonderful at this hour. Last night I gave a dinner party, assisted by astral body and sub- liminal self. All power was mine and the guests were supremely happy. I won four hundred at bridge. Yours forever and ever, Swami Baa Baa reccives select parties of ladies, either by appoint- ment or from nine to ten in the morn- ing. If you wish to have universal power and move entirely in the high- est serenity, bring one hundred dol- lars in cash and a passive spirit. P. S.—No yogis need apply at thi office. We have no use for the serv- ices of amateur clairvoyants, me- diums, seventh sons or daughters, or vibratory experts, as Swami Baa Baa is able to fulfill all conditions. We can, however, use a yogin, provided he was born in India and has been buried for eighteen days without food or has lived in an American sani- tarium. He must be able to give tests, such as projecting his astral body to the ceiling and allowing it to remain there for five minutes in view of all. But no others need apply. Life’s Vibration Parlors. STOCK REPORT “Indications of an impending strike caused a hurried covering by the bear party.” Suffragettes ING a song of suffragettes, Sing and yell and dance. Pockets in their coats and vests, And pockets in their—skirts. When the sisters gather, They play for every They'll hit mere man with argument, They'll hit him with a brick, Willie's in the laundry hing up the clothes; 's in the sewing-room Darning up the hose. Father's in the kitchen, As mad as a While mother’s somewhere on the street Shouting, “ Votes for women.” simmon, THE IDEAL BACKSTOP SHOULD BE OF AN UNRUFFLED DISPOSITION AND A FAST THINKER. comicbooeede