Life, 1912-08-22 · page 12 of 44
Life — August 22, 1912 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a lighthearted alphabetical poem about romantic archetypes, presenting satirical portraits of various female "types" the author has encountered. Each letter describes a different woman: an actress, bridge friend, chorus girl, debutante, English girl, and so forth through the alphabet. The humor is gentle social satire—mocking familiar female stereotypes of the era: the tone-deaf chorus girl, the nervous debutante who can't converse, the motor girl who ignores traffic laws. The swinging couple illustration frames the content romantically. The bottom illustration titled "The Fox and the Crows" appears to reference Aesop's fable, suggesting commentary on cunning versus gullibility—likely a visual punchline to the romantic themes above.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
PLATONIC® FRIUNDE HD A was an Actress, my very first love; I thought her an Angel, straight down from above. B was a Bridge Fiend, bright in her w But I just couldn't stand for her playing all day. C was a Chorus Girl, dear little thin She had pretty cyes,—but she never could sin D was a Debutante, painfully shy; She couldn't talk mul too scared to try and was zB an English Girl, strong ds well-knit, But / didn’t think she was pretty a bit a Flirt, her coquettish ce bowled me right over,—she led me a dance! Alphabet G was a Governess, prim and demure,— And yet she adored me, I felt pretty sure! H was an Heiress, with oodles of gold; But the forty years old! she was pretty near I was an Ingenue, curves; But so idiotie,—she nerves. J was a Juno, majestic tall, somehow she made me feel awfy K was a Kid, whose round face would beam lf I asked her to go and have choe'late ice cream, L, Leading Lady! Well, when I knew her my savings on orchids and fur. I spent THE FOX AND THE CROWS M was a Motor Girl; heedless of stops, She laughed at the speed laws and smiled at the cops. N was a Nurse. Her sweet white-capped face In my memory holds a perma- nent place. O was an Old M. dumpy and short; Not quite up to date, but a jolly good sort, P was a Poctess, soulful in style. Yo evade her effusions, Md run a whole mile. Q was a Queen. Don't ask me the rest, ice it 10 know, she’s the one I liked best. R, Revolutionary Daughter or Dam Or Colonial Something. (They all look the same.) comicbookea (o)