Life, 1912-08-15 · page 32 of 40
Life — August 15, 1912 — page 32: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains **promotional material and satirical content** from *Life* magazine, not primarily political cartoons. **Main Elements:** 1. **"EXTRA!" Advertisement** (left): *Life* promotes a miniature colored edition available by mail for a two-cent stamp—a marketing pitch disguised as news. 2. **"Why Did He Stop the Engine?"** (bottom left): An anecdote about inventor George Westinghouse, illustrating his confidence in his products' durability. The joke: when a customer's engine broke after eight years of constant use, Westinghouse's response was dismissive—implying the machine was so reliable that stopping it was the actual problem. 3. **"The Friend of Man"** (right): A satirical poem about Professor Metchnikoff's theory that a longevity germ exists in dogs. The speaker proposes extracting this germ from his dog "Ponto" to achieve immortality—a darkly humorous take on emerging immunology theories. 4. **Anecdotes** (bottom right): Two brief humorous stories about elderly couples. 5. **Advertisements** for Kelly-Springfield Automobile Tires dominate the lower right. The page reflects early 20th-century satirical humor mixed with period advertising.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“EXTRA!” A free copy for Everybody who wants one The Miniature Life LIFE is now sending out to his friends a min- iature copy, printed in colors, and full of the best things which have appeared in LIFE for many years. All you need to secure a copy of this issue (s name and addre 4% x 534) is to forward your and a two-cent stamp to LIFE, 17 West 31st Street, New York. Why Did He Stop the Engine? George Westinghouse, the famous in- ventor and manufacturer, is a firm be- liever in the excellence of his products The story is told that a letter received some years ago by the Westinghouse Machine Company said that the writer had been using onc of its standard ver- tical engines with eminent satisfaction. For eight years it had been in continu- ous service night and day, handling its load without a hint of trouble, but that “upon shutting it down the other even- ing it went all to pieces.” The letter was passed to the eminent inventor whose name the company bears, and handed back with the remark: “ Ask the blamed fool what he shut it down for."—Kansas City Times. “How's your insomr “Worse and worse! sleep when it's time to get up! —Laughter. The Friend cf Man (Professor Metchnikoff declares that the germ which is to. overcome the process of senile decay in man is found in the interior economy of the dog.) Dear Ponto, is it really true That if your well-loved form I sever I shall locate a germ in you By which I may exist for ever? So says Professor Metchnikoff, father of many a brilliant notion, And since, it seems, sour milk is “o Suppose I try his latest potion. Though naturally I should pause Before accomplishing your section, Town I never yet had cause To doubt your deep and true affection You scarce would grudge your priceless gift, Despite unpleasant complications, Or boggle o'er this little rift Within the lute of our relations That germ to you is little use; You soon must pass through death's dark portal, While I have got the grand excuse That it will render me immortal. Your fate, because your love is strong, Is one that you should gladly rush on; Come, Ponto! I will not prolong This rather harrowing discussion. —C. E. B. in the London Evening News Ax old couple came in from the coun- ty with a big basket of lunch to see the The lunch was heavy. The old s carrying it. As they crossed a crowded strect the husband held out his hand and said: “Gimme that basket, Hannah.” The poor old woman surrendered the asket with a grateful look: hat’s real kind 0’ ye, Joshua,” she quavered. “Kind!” grunted the old man, “I _ wuz afeared ye'd git lost.”—Argonaut. Kelly- . Soringfeldy @ Automobile Tires You learn from ex- perience what to look : . for for in buying tires. pie We have learned or from experience how to make the kind of tires your experience will tell you to buy. KELLY-SPRINGFIELD TIRE CO. 20 Vesey Street, New York Branch omecs In New York, Chicago, Philadelphia, Toston, St Louls, Detroit, Cincinaatl, San Francisco, Los Angetes, Buttalo, Baltimore, Washington, Seattle, Cleveland, Atlanta and Akron, O. Boss Rubber Co., Denver, Colo. Appel & Burwell Rubber & Tire Company, Dallas, Texas. Bering Tire & Rubber Co., Houston, Texas. Todd Rubber Co., New Haven, Conn. ———— comicboonees us |