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Life, 1912-08-01 · page 37 of 40

Life — August 1, 1912 — page 37: what you’re looking at

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Life — August 1, 1912 — page 37: Life, 1912-08-01

What you’re looking at

This page features a humorous poem about a library reference desk worker besieged by an endless stream of absurd, trivial, and tangential questions from patrons. The joke satirizes both the public's unrealistic expectations of librarians' omniscience and the sheer randomness of patron inquiries—ranging from historical facts ("How tall was prehistoric man?") to spelling questions to personal requests ("You mind if I leave baby here?"). The satire mocks how librarians must maintain patience while interrupted constantly with questions spanning every conceivable topic, often unrelated to legitimate research needs. It's a gentle critique of public library culture and user behavior, suggesting librarians face an impossible, exhausting job trying to serve an unpredictable clientele with wildly varying needs and manners. The remainder of the page consists of period advertisements for camera lenses, seasickness remedies, and patent services—typical early 20th-century magazine filler.

📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Reference Librarian At times behind a desk he sits, At times about the room he flits. Folks interrupt his perfect ease By asking questions such as thes “ How tall was prehistoric man? “ How old, I pray, was Sister Ann?” “ What should you do if cats have fits?” “What woman first invented mitts? “Who said, ‘To Labor Is to Pray “ How much did Daniel Lambert w Should you spell it ‘wo’ or ‘woe That is the fare to Kokomo?” “Ts Clark's name really, truly Champ?” “Can you lend me a postage-stamp? “ Have you the rimes of Edward Lear?” “What wages do they give you here?” “ What dictionary is the best?” “Did Brummel wear a satin vest?” “How do you spell ‘anacn “What is a Gorgonzola ch “Who ferried souls across the Styx “What is the square of ninety-six? “ Are oysters good to cat in March? “ Are green bananas full of starch? “ Where is that book I used to see? “T guess you don’t remember me?" “ Haf you der Hohenzollernspiel “Where shall I put this apple-peel? ” “Ou est, m'sieu, la grande Larousse?” “ Do you say ‘ two-spot ’ or the ‘ deuc: Say, mister, where's the telephone “Now, which is right, to ‘lend’ Joan’? “ How do you use this catalogue?” “Oh, hear that noise! Is that my dog?" “Have you a book called ‘Shapes of Fear?" “You mind if I leave baby here?” —Boston Transcript. or Speed of Foot Demands Speed of Lens And the greater the speed of any object, the greater is your need for a speedy camera lens. You will easily capture the fastest thing in motion with a Bausch’ lomb /eiss Tessar [ENS The wonderful speed is due to its great light-gathering power. This lens gives a perfectly flat field and uniformly sharpdefinition, Precise optical corrections makethe Tessarthe best all-round lens for action subjects, landscapes, indoor portraits, etc, Our new catalogS?H gives prices and details as to the best lens tor your particular pur- pose. Sent postpaid. Write us today. Enquire also of your dealer. Bausch & lomb Optical G. BEW Yo! WASHINGTON CHICACO sam Francisco 228 ROCH! NY. TRANKPORT ‘The superior quality of Bausch & Lomb lenses, microscopes, field glasses, projection apparatus, engineering and other screntific anstruments 13 the product of nearly O years? experience. eng debe While Traveling ‘OTHERSILL'S, after thorough tests, is now officially adopted by practically all the Great Lakes and New ork Steamship Transatlantic line: Three years aso Mr. Mothersill gave a personal demon- stration of his remedy on the English Channel, Irish Sea and the Baltic, and received unqualified endorsement from leading papers and such people as Bishop Taylor Smith, Lord North- clif, and hosts of doctors, bankers and professional men, Letters from personages of international renown—people we all know—together with much valuable information, are con- tained in an attractive booklet which will be sent free upon receipt of your name and address. Mothersill’s is guaranteed not to contain cocaine, morphine, opium, chloral, or any coal-tar products. A soc ufficien' for twenty-four hours; $1.00 box for a Transatlantic voyag Your druggist keeps Mothersill's or will obtain it for you from | his wholesaler. If you have any trouble getting the genuine, send direct to the Mothersill Remedy Co., 355 Scherer Bldg.,| Detroit. Mich. at 19 St. Bri London; Montreai, Milan, Hamburg. ATENT Send sketch for free search of Par Odtain a Patent and What to Invent wich list of Inventions wanted Companies running south and many SECURED OR FEE RETURNED Office Recores, How to and prizes offered for invention: ree. Patents advertised free. VICTOR J. EVANS & CO., Washington, D. C. repuratig” d its 1 sifnoutd to mo by ertising Worth All It Cost Commander R. H. Greene of the G. A. R. was narrating war stories in Phenix. “Ina Phenix hotel smoking room one night,” he said, “‘a number of veterans got into a dispute on the battle of Bull Run. The veterans—all men of high rank—argued very turbulently. But a quiet man spoke up and said: “Gentlemen, I happened to be there, and I think I can settle the point at issue.’ “And settle it he did. a masterly manner. prictor, much impressed, when he got through : “*My dear sir, what may have been your rank in the army?? “*T was a private, sir, a full private,’ was the calm reply. “A. short afterward the full private asked for his bill, as he was about to depart, but the proprietor. said to him: “*Not a cent, sir! cwe me nothing.’ “Why, how is that?’ the other de- manded in bewilderment. “*T couldn't dream of charging you, sir,’ said the proprietor warm'y. ‘ Y, are the first private I have ever met —Los Angeles Times. time Not a cent! ‘ou He settled it in The hotel pro- said to him Defined Again “Father,” said the small boy, “ what is a demagog?” “A demagog, my son, is a man who can rock the boat himself and persuade everybody that there’s a terrible storm at eca."--Washington Star. 1537 comicbooks.com