Life, 1912-07-25 · page 23 of 41
Life — July 25, 1912 — page 23: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two satirical pieces: **"The Only Son"** (top left): A brief joke mocking parental aspirations. Parents hope their son becomes exotic ("bird of paradise" or "mighty eagle"), but he'll likely end up ordinary—"a common robin after all." The satire targets middle-class parents' unrealistic hopes for their children. **"Philosophers"** (lower section): A humorous essay defining philosophers as impractical men who waste time explaining things to people too busy to listen. The satire highlights their uselessness, their tendency to gather in corner grocery stores, and their inability to agree on anything. The author notes that "famous philosophers" turn out to be scientists instead—implying pure philosophy produces nothing of value. **"In the Life of a Hero"** (right): Excerpts from melodramatic novel passages, accompanied by illustrations. This appears to mock overwrought romantic fiction with its purple prose ("His muscles were tense," "pierced her with his eye"). The satire targets sentimental literary conventions of the era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE Wis MOTHER ONLY SON HOPES ME'LL Grow UP TO BE A BIRD OF PARADISE. Mts FATHER, THAT MELE BE A MIGHTY EAGLE. BUT THE CHANCES ARE THAT HE'LL BE NOTHING BUT A COMMON ROBIN AFTER ALL Philosophers PHILOSOPHER is a man, and rarely a woman, who, having nothing to do and being glad of it, puts in his time explaining the reason that other people should have for do- ing things. Philosophers are not popular cause, in the first place, most men are too busy to listen to them, and, in the second place, they are satisfied with their own reasons for doing things Nevertheless, philosophers are wont to gravitate toward comfortable stoves in corner groceries, varying leisure straggle in and to- rs in universi be- where men of ward comfortable cha ties where helpless youth are com- pelled to listen as a part of an awful punishment called a curriculum, Whenever a philosopher becomes famous, it always turns out that he phi er at all, but a scientist. Simon-pure _ philosophers never give information, because noth- ing less than explaining the unknow- able will satisfy them. One philoso- pher will never agree with another philosopher if he can possibly help it. By Od: is not a ‘LIFE In the Life of a Hero (Compiled fros SHE waveredtut it was only n instant. Then cour, “Wh: ibly paler, “you hav “His ¢ he sat ther He bent over her. him.” It was nothing.” he muttered, with nile, “TL would have done as much a sense of new came to him.” exclaimed, his fa 7” e vis- ud gone out, but still Words failed for “Curse you!” cried a voice. “He pushed her gently away from him. ‘It cannot be.’ he said simply “THE MAN Sources) He “Their eyes met. never flinched.” His muscles were tense.” “ And then suddenly out of the black night of his despair came the thought that— Ah! could it be?"" at sobs shook his frame.” He had steeled himself against } presene “ He pierced her with his eye.” “ He talked idly about many things. and yet they both knew that— “He wi tion.” “He felt a sudden sharp pain.” pale with repressed emo HIGHER UP"