Life, 1912-07-11 · page 33 of 44
Life — July 11, 1912 — page 33: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains **advertisements and satirical humor pieces**, not political cartoons. The main satire is a **"For Charity" piece mocking wealthy Manhattan society**, specifically the Vanderbilt family. It lists absurdly inflated prices for trivial access to Mrs. Vanderbilt's mansion—paying to stand on her front steps, ring her doorbell, or receive tea from her niece. The joke targets the era's extreme wealth inequality and the performative charity of the ultra-rich, who monetize even minor contact with their homes and servants. The page also includes period advertisements (Gillette Safety Razors, Club Cocktails) and unrelated humor pieces about mistaken advice and mule-trading. For modern readers: the satire exposes how the Gilded Age wealthy profited from "charity" events that were really about status display and extracting money from the middle class desperate for social access.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
For Charity On next Thursday afternoon Vanastorbilt will throw open her m nificent marble mansion on Fifth Avenue for the benefit of charity. An claborate scale of prices is being fixed, and any one who desires can go at the prices named lowing is a partial list of the charges decided upon: Standing on Mrs. Vanastorbilt’s front steps, per minute Ringing Mrs. Vanastorbilt’s front door bell... Admission to Mrs. mansion ... ee in Mrs. Vanastorbilt’s be welcome Vanastorbilt’s closet ..... Receiving cup of tea from Mrs Vanastorbilt's nicce. . . Looking at portraits of Mrs. Van- astorbilt’s ancestors.......... Admiring Mrs. Vanastorbilt’s head butler .... Asking Mrs. Vanastorbilt's house- keeper for a pin Saying good-bye astorbilt’s social secretary..... Having carriage called by Mrs. Vanastorbilt's doorman You Ought to Try These Fine Gillette Blades ILLETTE users say the 1912 Blades are the best ever made. They are specially praised by men with heavy beards or tender skins. Buy a packet of these new blades today. Put one in your Gillette and shave. Rub the lather in well, soften the beard, as with any other razor. The Gillette Blade will shave you cleaner, closer than any other razor you ever used—no pull, no roughness, no smarting. You save stropping and honing—all the bother of shaving, and two-thirds the time. Each Blade is hermetically sealed in oiled wrapper— bright, sharp, sanitary. Two sizes of Packet—Twelve Blades (24 shaving edges) in nickel-plated box, $1.00; Six Blades (12 shaving edges) in carton, 50 cents. Gillette Safety Razor For sale in forty thousand retail stores in every part of the habitable globe Had Been Both A clergyman who advertised for an organist received this reply Drax Sir: I notice you have a vacancy for an organist and music teacher, either lady or gentleman. Having been both for several years, I beg to apply for the position —Ladies’ Home Journal. TEST FOR YOURSELF Mix the best cocktail you know how — test it side by side with a Club Cocktail No matter how good a Cocktail you make you will notice a smooth- ness and mellowness in the Club Cocktail that your own lacks. Club Cocktails after accurate blending of choice liquors obtain their delicious flavor and delicate aroma by ageing in wood before bottling. A new cocktail can never have the flavor of an aged cocktail. A jan, Martini and other standard blends, bottled, ready to serve through cracked ice. Refuse Substitutes AT ALL DEALERS G. F. HEUBLEIN & BRO., Sole P1 Hartford New York” London A Perfect Cure “Does any one suffer from the sleep- walking habit?” asked the professional joker at a large gathering. Smithson, who always fancied himself to be delicate, rose to the occasion. “Yes, Ido,” he said. “ Have done for years, Do you know any remedy?” “Yes,” said the joker. “I have scription here I will give you. to an ironmonger’s.” “ An ironmong Smithson thought he must have heard wrongly. “Yes, an ironmon; The prescrip- tion consists of a paper of tacks, Dose: Two tablespoonfuls to be scattered about the room at bedtime."—Tit-Bits. “Waxt to buy a mule, Pete?” “What ails him?” “ Nothing. “Then what ye selling him fo?” Nothing.” “Tl take him.” comicbooks.com