Life, 1912-07-11 · page 14 of 44
Life — July 11, 1912 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
The main cartoon depicts a flamboyantly dressed figure (left) presenting themselves to a jury of formally-dressed men. The caption reads: "Foreman of Jury: PLEASE STOP CRYING AND WE'LL HAND IN ANY VERDICT YOU WANT" The satire targets American court presentation and fashion excess. The figure's elaborate hat, chains, and theatrical clothing suggest someone attempting to impress through ostentatious display—likely mocking wealthy Americans' pretentious European fashions and courtroom behavior. The accompanying text discusses American court customs and etiquette, including advice on proper presentation before British royalty and recommendations for hiring a household management service. The satire suggests Americans lack sophistication in formal settings and must be coached in basic decorum—a common early-20th-century theme mocking American nouveau riche behavior abroad.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Foreman of Jury: PLEASE STOP CRYI ANY VERDICT YOU WANT FROWA Kem H yards long, and held up with pinions of solid gold chains set with pigeon blood rubi One of our customers writes from London: Dear Sirs: Both Mary and George exclaimed when they saw me at the court presentation to-day. I had on one of your eighteen thousand dollar court trains and they both agreed they never had seen anything like it. “It takes Americans to do these things,” said Mary to me. Merely send you this line of grateful appreciation. Before leaving for London drop in and go through a court rehearsal. Unless you have been presented before you are likely to make some awkward break, and nothing is more important than that every American should know what to do in the presence of true royalty. One of our customers fell down several times last week in trying to make a proper bow. To all ladies who weigh over two hundred pounds our preliminary exercises before presentation at court are ab- solutely necessary. Just as you are carefully inclining in front of the throne and slip and fall it is very awkward indeed to have to explain to the King and Queen per- sonally that this is your first offense. Therefore we AND WE'LL HAND IN caution all of our patrons to preserve the honor of our country by making sure of themselves beforehand. It might be well to state that our court costumes are now being extensively worn by a number of Europeans, who prefer them to those they get abroad. We furnish presentation costumes for all American ambassadors, from plenipotentiaries down to assistant con- suls, At the head of our men’s department is a retired bishop who has been presented at every court in Europe and has a sense of dignity that is not equaled by W. J. Bryan. We have recently introduced into our establishment a system of scientific management, and are hereafter enabled to offer you complete supervision during the year at a fixed sum, payable cither monthly or quarterly in advance. For twenty-five thousand dollars a year we can guarantee a social success and a good appearance wherever you go. If you have any children, we advise you to place them with us at once, as otherwise they will acquire in- dependent ideas, which will be more expensive in the long run. We can take care of children from ten to eighteen for about ten thousand dollars a year a piece. Remember that our motto is, “ America for the Ameri- cans,” and that Paris is now aping us. comicboo!