Life — June 20, 1912 — page 37: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Glorious Fourth of July (Concluded from pope. 1275) AUTOMOBILE CLUB LONDON, ENGLAND | ESTABLISHED 1897 \ carnival of saws ought long ago to have been recognized. Time would fail were the attempt made to give a complete list of domestic instruments of patriotic noise. Those have been mentioned are alone suf- ent to give expression to the wildest juvenile patriotism. Let us then discard the dangerous explosives sold by pyro- technists and substitute for them the harmless front door, the innocuous din- ing-table and the safe, but satisfactory, baby and saw. What a sublime spe tacle would be presented on the ensuing Fourth were the small boys of this happy land to celebrate our national independ- ence by the unremitting slamming of doors, the upsetting of tables, the filing of saws and the pinching of babies. Of course ‘the selfish and scoffing coroner will say that such a method of celebra- tion would be wholly unworthy of the day, but we all know that what he calls | ETT Reiss his love of country is only a love of inquests, and that when he pretends that | ye ° the firecrackers of pagan China are bet- OFrris ter adapted to honor the memory of Washington and Franklin than are the e saws and files of Christian America, he 4 ORIGINAL are is secretly longing for scorched corpses LONDON d shattered limbs. His business lies with the contemporancous bodies, and a OR sixty years—the favorite of the his profession of interest in the corpses of the men of 1776, who are now far ie se eyed the reach af loquesta, ivobvlously “| principal Clubs throughout the a hollow mockery.—W. L. Alden. 5 z World Ask for ‘‘The Little Brown Box’’ If the dealer cannot supply—remit us for quantity desired. Do not accept substitutes. PHILIP MORRIS & COMPANY, Ltd., Dept.J, 402-406 West Broadway, N. Y. Canadian Address: Dept. J, 487-491 St. Catharine St., East, Montreal PLAIN or Cork Tips, in boxes of 10, 20, 50 and 100 CAMBRIDGE BLUES (Regular Size) Per Box of 10 |) Per Box of 10 Zein. = 300 | It’s a : 2%in. - 25 AMBASSADOR) | MORISETTE Srber 0. Il o° . Gold Tip | BANQUET || Positive Delight EepBex ef 10 Pennie . 5yin, - $1.00 | to Brush the Teeth acca ind gums with Amica Tooth Soap. It sterilizes the mouth stroying putrefactive and fermentative bacteria, and produces a delightful sense of cleantiness that cannot be obtained with pastes, powders or washes, Strong’s Arnica Tooth Soap (Cleanser and Mouth Wash in One) A Match for Whistler quickly. On his arrival Sir Morrell said, , without a smile, “How do you do, Mr. Whistler rarely met his match, al- hi 7 F 5 Whistler. I wanted to see you about = Chicago though he did so once in Sir Morrell having tip Hook ase pL Mackenzie, the famous throat spe —From Americans in Paris. He called on Sir Morrell to tre , THE UNIVERSITY OF CHICAGO French poodle of which he was. very Correspondence-Study Dept. fond. The renowned physician was not Hoax: What is the difference in time HOME eeoz 22 ceeren, come to . too pleased at being invited to diagnose between New York and Paris? ST i degren, Vzmepiary feurscs a any sy the illness of a dog. But he kept his Joax: Oh, I don’t know. You can UDY {:: sins New, Wastes = peace, prescribed, pocketed his fee and have pretty much of the same time in roth Year U.oF ©. (Div. Y) Chicago. Ile drove away. Next day he sent an urgent New York as in Paris if you know how message to Whistler asking him to call to go about it—Philadelphia Record. 177