Life, 1912-05-30 · page 34 of 44
Life — May 30, 1912 — page 34: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**Main Cartoon (Top Left):** The headline "Who will be the next President?" accompanies an image of a cherub or baby sitting in a bathtub with Pears Soap. The text reads "He won't be happy till he gets it." This is a satirical advertisement mashup—it's unclear which political figure is being referenced, but the joke appears to be that someone's presidential ambitions resemble childish desire for soap, suggesting their aspirations are trivial or silly. **"Bracing Up an Officer" (Center):** A Civil War anecdote about General Grant reassuring a frightened junior officer through a probability lesson: a hat containing 99 white beans and one black bean. Grant argues the officer's chances of being shot are similarly small. The story illustrates Grant's calm, rational leadership during combat. **Advertisements:** The page is largely commercial, featuring the Monoplex car horn, patents services, Atwater Kent auto parts, and champagne/wine advertisements. The page blends political satire with period advertising and historical anecdotes typical of Life magazine's format.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
All rights secured MONSPLEX | HORN="_ Warns Instantly The distinctive voice of the Monoplex respinds instantly to the lightest touch on the special steering-wheel button, leaving hands and feet free to handle the car. Effectively ‘The Monopler conserves noise and nerves. Its ‘may be shor ‘abrupt, or long and insistent, according to the pressure on the buttcn. Economically Uses one-quarter the current and costs less than half as much asa metor horn—soon pays for itself in battery saving alone. Operates econom- ically oni gnition battery or dry cells. Built in accordance with the Atwater Kent standard of merit, the Monoplex will outlast your car. Five differ. ‘ent finishes to match other fittings. Price, complete: Type A. $15.00; Type M, $12.00. ‘Try the Monoplex on your car—ten days’ free trial. Ask your dealer, or write us for Interesting folder L. Atwater Kent Mfg. Works 52.N.6th.St.Philadelphia.Pa. ATENTS SOEESEP ER New How Obata aaent sos What invent ws isSailne waned and prites offerel for inrentions sent free vier Bracing Up an Officer One of General Grant’s newly-appoint- cd staff officers had never been in any serious engagement. But almost the first day that he reported to Grant he was placed under a fire of the hottest and ost severe kind. The screaming of the balls, the roaring of the cannon, and the sharp crack and rattle of the musketry thoroughly demoralized him. He became absolutely sick and paralyzed with fear. He was so weak from nervous excite- ment that he lost physical control over himself, General Grant came up at the very climax of his fright, and, noticing his pale face, his blue lips and chattering teeth, he said: “ Captain, you are fright- ened. That is natural enough. You will get over it. Suppose,” continued Grant, “TI should come to you with a hat con- taining ninety-nine white beans and one black one, and I should ask you to thrust your hand into the hat at a venture and pick out the black bean; do you think your chance of getting that black bean would be very good? Well, your chance for being hit under this fire is no greate! than your chance for drawing the black bean.” This officer at once took heart and from then on he never showed the slightest sign of fe “I rorcot something,” said the hus- band as he came back. “Yes,” pouted the wife; “you for- got to kiss me.” “That may be; but what I came back for was my overshoes.” —Lonisville Courier-Journal. 1130 When you buy a rib roast you pay fot the bone and the “‘trim’? (which you can’t eat) as well as the meat, which you can eat. If a butcher came along who would sell you as good or better meat and who did not charge for the bone and trim, you would buy from him—that’s not being “cheap,” it’s being intelligent. When you buy a foreign made cham pagne you’re paying $1.00 for impor duty and ocean freight (which you can’t drink—that’s the ‘‘bone and trim”’) and $1.00 for the pint of wine. When you buy Cook’s Imperial you pay $1.00 (no bone—no trim) for a cham- pagne that is truly superior in every te spect—purity, sparkle, fragrance ani deliciousness. Buy Cook’s Sold Everywhert and Served Everywhere comicbooks.com