Life, 1912-05-30 · page 33 of 44
Life — May 30, 1912 — page 33: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a satirical short story about workplace dynamics. A self-important boss with "weary whiskers" visits a pale, overworked office clerk to present what he believes is an original, clever idea—but it's merely a conundrum (riddle). The boss claims he never writes anything himself but generously shares ideas with underlings. The joke: The conundrum compares an ink stain on a rug to a 1901 automobile. The boss thinks the answer is "one is fast color and the other won't run" (mocking outdated cars). But the clerk delivers the real punchline: one is "a mark on the drugget and the other is a drug on the market"—meaning the old car is worthless inventory. The satire mocks pompous bosses who take credit for mediocre ideas while exploiting underpaid workers. The melancholic ending (the lonely loon) emphasizes the clerk's existential isolation. The page also contains period advertisements for Londonderry mineral water and the Peerless automobile.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
irshall other sister's th the a-sit- h his t face ohnay, raising, > Wall y asa se,” be ionaire st have mine” jonaire, 1 ready “Wel, me the The Man with the Conundrum The man with the weary whiskers and the undecided hair tiptoes across the office to the desk of the pale hireling with the recalcitrant fountain pen, and murmurs: “A rather neat little idea occurred to me this morning, and as I never write anything myself I thought I would give the suggestion to you. Live and let live is my motto, and when we can help a friend, let us help him, by all means.” “Noble sentiments,” agrees the pale hircling. “ What is the idea?” “It is merely an idle fancy, you might say—rather, in its way, a conundrum. HEN you're real thi | positively dry—that’s the i time you appreciate 7 LONMONAeNTY) You're not keen for water that merely wets the throat and slakes the thirst for the time being, [i] -are you? H] Well, here is a sparkling, effer- || vescent water that refreshes, in- vigorates and drowns the thirst night out. That's Londonderry—the purest and best carbonated mineral water you will ever drink; the kind that «makes you think of bubbling springs up in the cool mountains. Luxurious and appetizing as a ‘table water. A royal blender—lengthens, but does not dilute the flavor of the liquor. - Sparkling \effervescent) in three table sizes. Plain (still in half gallon bottles and other sizes if desired. If you cannot obtain Lon- donderry locally, write us; we will see that you are supplied at regular retail prices, LONDONDERRY THREE SIXES From the three six-cylinder models for 1919, * 38-Siz,” «48-Siz,” and « 60-Six,”’ you may select a six-cylinder car suited exactly to your requirements in power and passenger capacity. Moreover, our dealers throughout the country can accept orders for immediate delivery. LONG STROKE ~MOTORS C The 1913 Peerless six-cylinder motor has an exceptionally long stroke ; it therefore possesses in an unusual degree the long-stroke ‘advantages — flexibility, greater power and smoother action at low speeds. THE PEERLESS ~MOTOR CAR COMPANY CLEVELAND, OHIO Tam not at all partial to conundrums unless they are meritorious to some ex- but this idea, coming, as it did, unexpectedly to me, impressed me ov “And what is the conundrum?” “Tt is this: What is the difference be- tween the stain remaining after a bottle of ink has been upset on a small rug before the grate, and an automobile of the model of 1901?” “ One is fast color and the other won't run,” languidly says the pale hircling. 1129 happily and says: no. You see, even you pro- fessional men are not always able to solve these humorous problems. The true answer is that one is a mark on the drugget and the other is a drug on the market.” . And far, far below, in the shadowy mystery of the canon, a lone loon called to its mate, but no reply came save the mysterious rustling of the dying leaves in the sighing breeze.