Life, 1912-05-30 · page 15 of 44
Life — May 30, 1912 — page 15: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three satirical pieces critiquing early 20th-century American social and political issues: **Top cartoon**: A humorous domestic scene where a military officer (labeled "Commander Sponson") warns against christening a newborn baby like a battleship—a joke about militaristic excess and the absurdity of applying military ceremony to civilian life. **"How to Make Anarchists"**: Biting satire on immigrant treatment. It describes the deliberate process of radicalizing newcomers: lure Europeans with promises of prosperity and freedom, then subject them to low wages, poor housing, and contempt (using slurs like "guineas" and "wops"). The implication: discriminatory treatment creates revolutionary sentiment. **"Promoting Patriotism"**: Critique of Congressman Tilson's bill providing rifles to boys' schools as "patriotic." Life argues this conflates militarism with genuine patriotism, suggesting better routes would be lowering tariffs or establishing parcel post—policies that improve citizens' actual lives. Both pieces expose how official narratives mask systemic mistreatment.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Commander Sponson: CHRISTEN HIM AS YOU WILL, MY DEAR, BUT REMEMBER, HE'S ONLY A BABY AND NOT A DASHED BATTLESHIP, AND 1 WON'T HAVE THE PARSON BREAKING CHAMPAGNE BOTTLES OVER HIS LITTLE HEAD. How to Make Anarchists COUR the countries of Europe for able-bodied men and women who desire to better themselves. Fill them with hope by giving them glowing reports of what a wonderful place the United States is and of how easy it is here to attain wealth and affluence, together with personal liberty, equal rights and exact justice. When they arrive make every effort to humble them by giving them low wages, by huddling them together in quarters unfit for human habitation and by gouging them on every side. Speak to them harshly and apply contemptuous names to them, such as “guineas” or “ wops.” If they complain or ask for better treatment, tell them they are only foreigners and should have stayed in their own countries. ARSON: If you keep out of O'Brien's saloon you may go to heaven. ParisHioner: “I'm sure of O'Brien's saloon! Promoting Patriotism A BILL has been introduced into Congress prescribing favorable terms upon which the United States Gov- ernment shall furnish rifles, ammunition and traveling expenses to boys’ schools, rifle clubs, etc. It is called “A bill to promote patriotic spirit.” No doubt the author of the bill, Congressman Tilson, is earnestly desirous of showing a proper love for his country and inculcating that love into the hearts of the oncoming generation, but couldn’t he scare up some better way of doing i Wars don’t come often enough these days to make powder and patriotism inseparable. There are lots of us, and of mature age, too, who love our coun- try, but yet who couldn't hit a flock of barn doors at short range with a widespreading shotgun. No. That isn't Ppatriotism’s only route. Why couldn’t we lower the tariff on the necessities of life or have a parcels post? Either of these would make the country more lovable. And there are other ways, many other ways, better than blazing away at an imaginary enemy or creating a hubbub on the Fourth of July. comicbooks.com