Life — May 23, 1912 — page 31: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Va better sort of people smoking vom | PHILIP MORRIS toxvéi CIGARETTES universally known as the “ best-ever” for the past sixty years. _In boxes of 10, 50 and 100. Agents and Depots atl over the world. It your dealer ts out of them, we will fill your order, ¢ 417 West Broadway, New York, N. Y. Plain and cork tips. + New York, Montreal, London, Cairo, Egypt. PHILIP MORRIS & CO., Ltd. Xasperating letter! You Call up no name but Xanadu; No person but Xantippe—she's The lady who old Socrates Pronounced xtremely quarrelsome, As prickly as xanthoxylum ; And there was Xerxes, who met loss, For his name held a double-cross. The Chinese blandly bob and grin Before their idol known as Xin, Believing he'll good luck direet— But of the Chinese we xpect Ntreme peculiarity, Nactly as things shouldn't be. You end no word that docs not vex: Perplex, and rex, and “gentler” sex. Nasperating X! But wait. Some day we'll calmly xpurgate You from our troubled alphabet ; We'll xtirpate you, X; upset, Knock down, cast out, delete, xcise You from your place, for we despise © way in which you oft xult In fretting us. This will result in one swift xodus, to-wit: X, we will order your xit. THE LAND OF Unforgettable Vacations Get out your atlas and look at the coast of Maine. Did you ever see such a lace-work of bays, capes and islands? Now look inland. Did you ever see so many lakes? In that fresh and Wonderful Maine country you can find a vacation you will never forget. It’s a land of rocky headlines and superb beaches. of perfect sailing. cruising. and bathing. of every out-door sport, of glorious sea air. It is also a land of deep woods and forest lakes, where, for afew weeks, the tired city ‘ker can get into the real out-doors. It is aland of palatial hotels, but also of jolly little hotels, of delightful boarding houses and camps, SEND FOR FREE BOOKLETS They tell where to go, with lists and rates of hotels and boarding places. “Address VACATION BUREAU THE NEW ENGLAND LINES Room 774, South Station, Boston, Ma: ACCESSO S| 40114 slasipe (less tenn cont) br graphed Score Pats, 1? varie! eg. earl St. New York X, you are but a cicatrix, A scar; how foolish to affix You to our letters! You're a tax; You make our temper flash like flax; As grave and solemn as the sphynx, And yet as taunting as a minx! X-rays, x-presidents, x-wives, X-parte statements.—All our lives You crossly show in all we see; You are the unknown quantity For whose xistence we must look— An xtra task put in our book! Sometimes, O, X, you're on a Ten— How suddenly we break you then! You make the alphabet complex, "Twere better if you were ex-X! W. D. Nesbit. Hard Luck “T always was unlucky,” he said, with a weary sigh. “What's the matter now, old man?” his friend asked. “T've spent over £1,000 on having my boy taught to play the fiddle, and now his hair's all comin’ out.”"—Tit-Bits. comicbooks.com