Life, 1912-05-23 · page 14 of 44
Life — May 23, 1912 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This 1912 *Life* magazine page contains political satire about the presidential election. The main section, "Life's Presidential Candidates," proposes William Randolph Hearst as a candidate, sarcastically claiming he'd be better than the "obstacle" candidate Murphy (likely referring to Charles Murphy of Tammany Hall). The satire suggests Hearst, a powerful newspaper magnate, could unite fractured political parties and win decisively. The top cartoon depicts a woman asking her mother if she loves her, then jokingly suggests she marry "the man at the candy store"—a humorous non-sequitur about mothers' expectations. The "Historic Episode" references Queen Catherine of Russia descending stairs in luxurious slippers, illustrating the satirical point that "the lives of little children are the seed and profits are the harvest"—critiquing how the wealthy live in excess.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“pO YOU LOVE ME VERY MUCH, MAMA?” Mama (a widow): YES, OF COURSE, MY DEAR. “THEN, WHY DON’T YOU MARRY THE MAN AT THE CANDY STORE?” adamant and would positively not listen to any refusals. “Gentlemen,” we exclaimed authoritatively ; “you must go! Unless we are greatly mistaken, the country demands the rest.” Thus history is made, and thus it happens that the marvelous auto tour is now taking place. The car passed the Harlem River at 12.30. All well. (Full particulars next week.) Life’s Presidential Candidates ‘OR the Presidency of 1912 we beg leave to present the name of Mr. William Randolph Hearst. The election of Mr. Hearst would leave nothing to be desired, for the very good reason that he is the sworn foe of Mr. Murphy. We do not know who Mr. Murphy is, but we can’t help being against him, for, judging from a careful perusal of the New York Journal, Mr. Murphy is the only obstacle left standing between a free people and despotism. If he were only cleared away, we think it would be grand. Furthermore, Mr. Hearst is an expert on political par- ties. He has tried all the old parties, new parties, inde- pendent parties and no parties. As a result, he has a host of staunch, unwavering friends everywhere. This would enable him to corral the floating vote and lead us on to a victory which would plant the yellow flag of tri- umph upon the topmost peak of the Washington Monu- ment. Historic Episode UEEN CATHERINE of Russia was descending the royal stairway. “Would to heaven,” she exclaimed, “that I had a pair of elephant’s breath velvet slippers to wear! Then they would think Iw: girl of sixteen about to take my daily walk down Fifth Avenue in the customary snow- storm.” HE lives of little children are the seed and profits are the harvest. “TOMMY, YOU'RE TO STOP THAT THIS MINUTE, DO YOU HEAR?” comicbooks.com