Life — May 16, 1912 — page 46: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The New HOTEL MBALL at Springfield Massachusetts best thing that has happened in New England since the Pilgrims landed Send for new booklet “DERE” Pittsburgh All libelers to the contrary notwith- standing, Pittsburgh was not called after the Bottomless Pit, but was named for the topmost Pitt who bossed the British Empire in days of yore. Pittsburgh is celebrated for its cranks, curiosities and Carnegies, its furnaces, financiers and fortunes, It has no climate worth talk- ing about; the sun, moon and stars are merely astronomical phenomena never visible to the Pittsburgh eye; and it has &n atmosphere, as thick and tenacious as mock-turtle soup, which gives the Pitts- burgher an interior decoration like an Egyptian mummy. Pig-iron and politics are the staples of the city; captains of industry special- ize the former, chevaliers of industry the latter. To the captains the tariff is a nobler document than the Declaration; to the chevaliers the Horse-Leech’s Daughter has the Goddess of Liberty tied to the post. In the hands of Pitts- burghers entirely great the pig of iron is mightier than the pen; and to that modest millionaire, A. Carnegie, this truth comes with startling poignancy, since from pig-iron come the shckels which make him shout and shudder at the dividends which pile up and prohibit post-mortem poverty. The pen may write odes and epics and create classics and cyclopedias, but the pig of iron pro- duces the plunks for the piles and pal- aces of a hundred cities with the name of Carnegie over the door, wherein the progeny of the pen are piled and penned. The age of literary efflorescence in many lands is called the Golden Age; the literary era of America will go down the Corridors of Time as the Pig-iron Age; and great will be the glory of Pitts- burgh and Carnegie. It is the proud boast of the Kilted Scot that his lack of pants has saved him from the ravages of the frisker; and it is as hopeless to try and rob Pittsburgh of the glory of embalming American literature in And- yan vaults and Carnegie tombs as to pick the pocket of a Skibo laird. When the fires and furnaces of Pittsburgh are cold; when her asphalt a mosphere has vanished and the murky Monongahela sees the sun; when her last millionaire has reddened the Great White Way, and her iron millions are merely an ironical memory, the names of Pittsburgh and Carnegie will blaze and bloom in the dust of a thousand municipal mortgages made to maintain their library mauso- leums. Joseph Smith, Commentary on the Present School System A good old-fashioned darkey was bit- terly complaining about the delinquencies of her niece, who had greatly offended her sense of what was fitting. When asked, “Dinah, can Mabel read and write?" she looked scornfully at her mistress and answered, “ Yes’m—she got a fine edgecashun—that’s the reason she sich a fool and ain’t got no sense!” 1046 A perfect fan of bubbles—weaving, wav- ing, rising in an upward shower of topaz; breaking into the fragrance of the grape; laden with tongue tickle—a stream of throat delight. You can pay more for a champagne than Cook’s Imperial Extra Dry Champagne You can’t buy a better. Every penny you pay for Cook’s buys quality—the extra cost of imported wines pays the duty and ocean freight; that’s what makes the difference. Sold Everywhere and Served Everywhere American Wine Co. St. Louis, Mo. WHITE MOUNTAINS OF NEW HAMPSHIRE ‘The most wonderful summer playground in America, We'd like to send you our picture booklet about it. Mailed free. It tells of the unimaginable beauty of these mountains in summer; the joy of breathing the life-giving air; of mountain climbing, tramping, riding, golf, tennis, and every summer sport; of the endless Social Life and Gayety; of sumptuous hotel it lo worth soem inl fied RePEc places at moderate prices, A booklet worth reading in consider- ing summer plans. Write for it to THE NEW ENGLAND LINES Room 816, So, Station, Boston, Mass, comicbooks.com