Life — May 16, 1912 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SUPERS woman suffrage. I have been try- ing to get him to undergo a course of treatment at your bureau, but he smiles blissfully and says that there is nothing the matter with him, and that, so far as I am concerned, I am only an illusion. 1 am, therefore, writing to ask you if you cannot give me the same treatment that you would give to a man.” We should be glad to treat this lady at our regular rates, giving her the same course that a man would have under similar conditions, but we offer no hope of a cure. Our advice to this lady is to proceed with her husband along the conventional lines used by so many American women. That is to say, let her run him in debt, and have about twice as many things charged as he can afford to pay for; let her play bridge about eight hours a day on the average; fuss with the ser- vants continually so that they are con- stantly leaving, and carry on a few discreet flirtations with other men that she mects. She will thus be broaden- “SOCIETY™ ing out her life and subjecting him to a test which, if he survives, will be because he is entirely different from any other native-born American citi- zen. In this case, however, she will have the satisfaction of knowing that she is only giving him what he actually deserves. For we can conceive of no form of torture which will really do justice to a man who is a Christian Scientist and a believer in woman suf- frage at the same time. In the meantime call, write or tele- graph at the old headquarters. Husbands’ Correspondence Bureau, Conservatives ONSERVATIVES are those who are getting the most benefit from things as they are. To get the most benefit from things as they are means to have a great deal of power. Con- servatives, therefore, are the powers- that-be of things-as-they-are. Accord- ingly, it isn’t so much that conserva- tives are opposed to change, but that they wish to get the most benefit of any changes that might come about. db PLAYED THROUGHOUT THE COUNTRY AND ALWAYS POPULAR Pittsburgh ING a song of Pittsburgh, Soot around your cye. Aldermen are bargains, But Senators come high. Millyuns in the parlor Counting out his moncy, Or, in his big auto, Eloping with his honey. Rags and dirt and squalor, Gems and gowns by Worth, Town a very Babel, All the tongues of earth. Masters of to-morrow Dig the ditch to-day. Anyway to get it— Then the Great White Way. Walter G. Doty. Blue Blood and Brains IRECTOR GREENMAN, of the Wistar Institute of Anatomy and Biology in Philadelphia, proclaims that “blue blood” does not necessarily de- crease the size of brains. Granted. On the other hand, how- ever, brains certainly decrease the im- portance of “blue blood.” comicbooks.com FR en {