Life — May 16, 1912 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

FP APR NE 8 NT TOI | *LIFE* The Pittsburgh Husband A Being Who, Up to the Present Time, Has Been Strangely Misun- derstood—Husbands’ Correspondence Bureau Tells the Truth About Him at Last U’ to the present time this office has had so few Pittsburgh cases on its list as to cause continual won- der and curiosity. Our first thought was that the aver- age Pittsburgh husband, when he got tired of his wife or found that he could get along without her, made no attempt to continue the partnershi but immediately secured another. This impression on our part was fostered doubtless by some of the Pittsburgh cases which appeared in the papers, It has been our experience, however, that where a city has had cases of this sort there have always been a vast number of husbands really in need of our treatment, and so cowed by the conditions which surround them as to be afraid to make any new alliance, We determined, therefore, to make a personal examination of Pittsburgh, and, taking the tall, handsome blonde (on the right as you enter) and the manager of our Entertainment Com- mittee with us, we made a personal examination of this city, with a view “Naturally cling to each other with so much desperation.” of finding out just what the trouble was and correcting it. It is with great gratification, there- fore, that we can announce to the world that Pittsburgh has been the most misunderstood city in this whole country. The truth is that people who are married and living together there naturally cling to each other with so much desperation that they have no time or inclination to have any differ- ence of opinion. The consequence is that in Pittsburgh, more so than in other places of which we have any knowledge, idealistic conditions exist. We have opened up a branch office there, and when we discover a case which is particularly difficult to man- age, we shall send the afflicted husband on to Pittsburgh, in order that he may learn from observation just how mar- ried life ought to be carried on, The Pittsburgh husband is a com- bination of resignation, devotion and power of endurance that is un- equaled among the husbands of the world. No man who is not able to make a success as a husband can live in Pittsburgh. That accounts for the fact that quite a number of black sheep have left there, thus advertising the place and giving it a false name. The fact that the sun never shines in Pitts- burgh makes no difference to the hu- man heart radiant with the sunshine of matrimonial life. After we had spent a week in Pitts- burgh we became so impervious to the allurements of the outside world that we had no desire to leave. We are now seriously considering making our permanent headquarters there, and pos- sibly getting married again, merely to get started right in a new atmosphere. We shall not make this change just at present, however, owing to a very vexatious complication which has just arisen, The other afternoon, after our return from Pittsburgh, and while we were sitting in our office, quietly going over the applications received from various Pittsburgh ladies who had “ And that, so far as I am concerned, I am only an illusion.” heard about our desire to get married again, the door opened and a bevy of women entered. The spokeswoman, in a short and extremely gracious speech, made a formal request that we should estab- lish a wives’ department. “ This,” she said, “is an age of women, and her dominance is becoming more pro- nounced all the time. Many women find themselves united to men who are not what they ought to be. And inas- much as you have made such a great success on the other side of the fence, we think that you should take cases of ladies like ourselves, who have been unfortunate in matrimonial affairs, and treat us at a nominal figure.” We promised to consider her appli- cation, but we have no present expec- tation of enlarging our business along the line suggested. The following let- ter, however, is so pathetic that it has almost made us change out intention: “Dear Si “Tam a woman of normal hab- its and good sense, besides being considered rather handsome and of an affectionate disposition. Some time ago I married a young man of great promise, and we lived to- gether quite happily until—what has been my horror recently to dis- cover that he is not only a Chris- tian Scientist, but also believes in comicbooks.com