Life, 1912-05-09 · page 35 of 48
Life — May 9, 1912 — page 35: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertising**, not political satire. The main content includes: 1. **"Crowns and Crowned Heads"** - A humorous, tongue-in-cheek advice column about caring for actual crowns (royal regalia). It's satirizing fussy etiquette guides by treating crown maintenance with exaggerated seriousness—warning against leaving crowns on hat racks where "ics" (likely "chickens") roost, and suggesting newspaper padding for oversized crowns. The joke: practical domestic tips applied to royal objects. 2. **"Bow to the Wittiest, Kneel to the Prettiest!"** - An advertisement for Pompeian Massage Cream featuring an illustration of a woman being courted. The tagline ironically acknowledges that modern society still favors beautiful women despite claims of progress, then pivots to selling facial cream as the path to beauty and social advantage. The page reflects early 20th-century advertising that mixed humor with beauty standards and gender expectations.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
LIFE TROLATIS High-Grade Toilet Specialties P SE take the first opportunity you have to ask your druggist about the complete white, green and gold line of toilet specialties of the House of Ingram. *INGRAM’S ZODENTA Paste or Powder for the tecth. “Keeps the teeth white. Keeps the breath right." Insures healthful ums. Prevents ferment and objectionable breath. Bestroys bacteria and stops decay. Pric: 25 cents. | Sample Free. Know and Will Tell ‘Or Write Direct to Us FREDERICK F. INGRAM, President the sweat-band of the crown, thus re- ducing the size and preventing any acci- dent by which his or her majesty might lose the crown in the coal-bin while do- ing chores. After the Fourth of July and other royal holidays, this newspaper may be removed and the crown will be found none too large for the imperial dome of thought. Sceptres may be cleaned and wrapped in woollen goods during the hot months. et al 1% ax The Hen: wvom are you conc FREDERICK F. INGRAM COMPANY 4Tenth St., Detroit, Mich., U.S.A. Windsor, Ontario | Crowns and Crowned Heads Very few crowns are worn this sea- son, and a few hints as to the care of the crown itself may not be, out of The crown should not be carelessly gon the hat rack in the royal hall for the ics to roost upon, but it should she thoroughly cleaned and put away as soon as the weather becomes too hot to wear it comfortably. Great care should be used in cleaning 1 gold-plated crown, to avoid wearing out the plate, Take a good stiff tooth hb, with a little soapsuds, and clean crown thoroughly at first, dr on a clean towel and taking care not to drop it on the floor and thus knock the diadem loose. Next, of the royal undershirt, case you cannot procure one F. . the eve of a duke or right-bower may be 1. Soak this in vinegar, and, with coat of whiting, polish the crown thor- in cotton flannel and t in the bureau. Sometimes the lin- 4 of the crown becomes saturated with from constant “use and needs cleaning. In such cases the lining may « temoved, boiled in concentrated lye two hours, or until tender, and then placed on the grass to bleach in the su Most crowns are size six-and-seve ghths, and they are therefore frequent- too large for the number six head of royally. In such cases a newspaper may he folded lengthwise and laid inside moss-agate geta sleeve or, in oughly, wrap it hair-oil “Bow to the Wittiest, Kneel to the Prettiest!” Although we do not really kneel to the pretty woman in these modern days, still it is true that we favor her, and bow to the beauty that is any woman's greatest asset. Perfect features loveliness. comipienion admired by all, are That smooth, clear glow of youth, the not necessary, nor previous sily obtained by a few simple massage movements with— “s Pompeian is not a “cold” or POMPEIAN MASSAGE CREAM Pompeian will do for you what it has done for millions—give you a clear, clean, Pompeian simply reinforces powers in a natural manner; it works into the por is left on the face. youthful skin. Nature’s healthy, and works out, nothing “grease” cream, is not a rouge or cosmetic, and positively cannot grow hair on the face. complete cleanliness of the facial pores. “Pompeian clean”’ lies skin health. Pompeian simply affords a natural means towards And in pores which are For a clear, fresh, youthful complexion, use Pompeian. Trial Jar sent for 6 cents (stamps or coin). Find out for yourself, now—why Pompeian is used and prized ina million homes where the value of a clear. fresh, youthful skin is ap- reciated. All Dealers 50c, 7&c, $1 Clip Coupon Now 580000000 0000000000000000000000000000000) Cut out this coupon, fill in and mail today THE POMPEIAN MFG. CO. 25 Prospect Street, Cleveland, O. Gentlemen—Enclosed find 6c (stamps or coin) for a trial jar of Pompeian Massage Cream. Name 3 3 i i 3 i 3 Address City. . comicbooks.com