Life — May 2, 1912 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

908 Down With the “LPR E* Women Monster Demonstration Against All of Them by Pessimists’ Club—No Results ‘pected— General Expression of Hopelessness Over the Feminine Situation HE Pessimists’ Club is arranging for a monster demonstration against woman. The last meeting of the club was devoted to a discussion of this appalling subject. We do not expect to accomplish any- thing by this. We regard the whole situation as utterly hopeless, but at least we shall be able to express our feelings. Leading pessimists all over the coun- try are with us. One writes: “Put me down as a subscriber to your woman crusade. Iam a married man and know what I am_ talking about. Woman's fundamental defect, compared with man, is her lack of sus- Women Are Always Tneffecti¢e* tained attention. A man rarely does more than one thing at a time. He doesn’t do that thing because it is necessarily interesting in itself, but be- cause the pursuit of it leads him to acquire something. He is like a dog on the scent. A woman pursues a thing only so long as it is interesting, and then drops it. The rage man is hope- lessly dull in every- thing but his spe- cialty, and in that he is usually impossible The average woman—when you see her for about eight minutes at a time -may be occasionally interesting, but she is always ineffective. have clubs devoted to more than one cbject—such as a golf club, a whist club, a rowing club or a pessimists’ club. A man is an astronomer, a plumber, a baker. A woman is always & woman, and when she plays she al- ways plays the devil. The average man would have brain fever if he un- dertook the same course of treatment offered by the average woman's club, which in six months will cover every branch of knowledge—art, music, Ger- man and French, civics, nature study, etc. No woman ever discovered any: thing of permanent value to the human race, except that she can cause more trouble in a given time than any other animal.” Men never Another writes: “I'm with you! A woman is a thing of beauty and a toy forever. But is she? The reason why man thinks she is beautiful is because she appeals to his senses. Nonsense! Woman isn’t beautiful. She possesses neither strength nor grace. She is awkward in her move- ments, and she has no individuality. If you doubt this, talk to a dozen in- tellectual women and you will find that their ideas can be reconstructed from a list of books that they have read. Women have no character, and when they break their words they give a “A thing of beauty and a toy forever” short laugh about it, showing thei total inability to grasp the though: that they have violated any law “Women are ‘good’ only when sub- jected to an idea that has originated by man. Any woman wil do to love, provided she has the right combination of temperament. The n affecta- beer modesty of woman is only tion, At heart she has none. “An audience of women is a mass of emotional insanity, covered with furs and feathers.” These statements have been mously endorsed by the club. Suitabi banners are now being constructed for use in the monster parade. Some of these banners are as follows: unani- “Woman and less than any other animal.” spends more earns “A kalsomined is the ig- noblest work of God.” woman Eve recovered from Adam's f but poor old Adam?—not at all! “Tt takes only two women to break a bargain counter.” “A woman acquires character as an actor does a mask. “Woman's extravagance to man makes countless husbands mourn.” “All those on the sta women are actresses—except “Down with millinery!” “Ifa woman's tongue could be fined for overspeeding, we could raise